Our Lovely Graves

Thy sinful crust consume

Our bones, our hopes, our dreams

Cometh tears that burn

and spittle from putrid mouths

We liveth and reigned

but mattered not yet

We liveth and reigned 

in thy sinful crust we remained

Author's Note

I wrote this prose in the midst of the 198 aftershocks that shook my town and my country (Philippines), a few months ago. Sometimes, things come out creatively from tragic events.

Reviews

[GunMetal]

Though you didn't quite use descriptive imagery, I could still see many images gripping for my imagination, and part of that is probably how you utilized your language. You wield your words like a warning, creating a feel that is very biblical. Part of it is probably the deep emotion you conjured this from. Creative outpourings don't come from tragic events just sometimes; It's pretty much guaranteed. Your poem has a weight to it, but your words carry. Fantastic write.

[Sneakygnome]

I've probably felt a thousand quakes (literally)in Japan since the big one. But never got inspired to write like this. Excellent job.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This is Powerfully conveyed...so very sad about the devastation that overwhelmed the Philippines. Your work has expressed the despair in a unique and artistic way.

"Thy sinful crust consume
Our bones, our hopes, our dreams

Cometh tears that burn
and spittle from putrid mouths"~Stunning work!...very strong imagery.

[Amelie]

Thanks Robbie. This piece summed up my troubled thoughts that day. And I was alone at home and everything became unbearable and so I need to exhaust and I came up with this. I miss your enrapturing works so I'm dropping by there in a wee bit :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

That is so scary! I'm sure it can scar a person emotionally. Expressing your emotions can help release some of the pain. Thank you for sharing this.

[Celestial Witch Child]

This is disturbing yet beautiful. Amazing piece. I applaud you. (:

[Amelie]

198 aftershocks are indeed disturbing my friend. thank you :)

[B-poet]

I love the mix of creativity and morbidity. It also sheds light on how where very shallow on the surface. A shell we're just renting out for the time being until our spirits ascend to their rightful eternal place

[Amelie]

And lest there shalt be tragedies (like 198 aftershocks) to shake our adamant consciousness before we come to fathom the purpose of our mortality. Thank you for the lovely review :)

[Kaylor Mason]

Dang . . . the dead need to be respected. Thank you for this work.

[Amelie]

thank you as well fella :)

[Bare trees]

You've taken fear and turned it into a artfully done poem. Great diction in this. Well done Amelie.

[Amelie]

Thanks fella, will check out some of your work too :)

[Leslie Marie]

The emotion is so vivid. It's amazing what you did here in such a short poem.

[eglantine]

def my favorite of yours so far--you have a strong connection with syllabels and playing off the sound and internal bounce

[N.Sevilla]

I don't usually enjoy very short poems, but this was an exception. Very well done. It is amazing all the emotions and thoughts you were able to fit in just a few lines.