twenty six

Friday, May 13. 2016

15:52

Happy Friday the 13th. Here's an update.

For the past week I have isolated myself in my bedroom, basically hiding from sunlight, friends, family, because my boyfriend left the country.

The one plan I had today got cancelled.

I still don't have a video filmed for my new video post on Sunday for YouTube.

I broke and texted Kane or Kale I don't know his code name anymore and I don't care because I'm extremely disappointed in myself.

And last but for sure not least:

There's a high chance that I might be pregnant.

16:26

Update:

I'm still talking with Kane/Kale and here's more news.

-I took a short break cause we're texting non stop but here's the news at 16:31-

Kale and his girlfriends 1 year anniversary is the week before I arrive in town.

Kale wants to lie behind his girlfriend's back to hangout with me.

I want to.

I'm planning his gift idea for her.

What is going on.

16:34

UPDATE:

He's pulling the LIKE WE USED TO / LIKE OLD TIMES out.

How do I get myself out of a situation I started??

18:58

The main reason why I texted Kale is because I wanted his help on the whole "pregnancy scandal", but really he didn't need to know. I just wanted to talk to him and see how he was doing and because we always go to each other with big problems it felt appropriate to me. 

It wasn't though. It wasn't because he is my ex and I should be discussing this with my boyfriend. And before anyone who reads this jumps on the wagon of, "Who the hell is this girl and why is she so fucked up?" Chill.

I have already spoken with Jones and he knows of the situation and we are going to figure out, well if I actually am pregnant, what to do when he gets back next week. It'll be okay.

So that was the incentive for me the message Kale. As stated earlier, I mentioned how I was helping him with present ideas and I suggested getting his girlfriend (who by the way hates me just because I dated Kale) a ring engraved N+K. Now I had every intention to write those two letters but instead I wrote my initial instead of his girlfriends so it ended up being M+K, you can imagine how awkward it got for me after that.

He began joking about it saying, "I'm taken sorry!" But I slipped and he saw it. He saw me slip, he saw what was subconsciously going on in the back of my head. I played it off and joked back saying,"Like i'd be interested in you anymore." 

Great. I hope this is my last excerpt for today.