twenty nine

Monday, May 16. 2016

10:55

Not everyday will I feel happy and energetic, and today is one of those days.

I woke up startled because of a dream I had where a  bee stung me right between my eyes. I have a phobia of bees. After that I read my book in bed and eventually did my makeup and hair, found out two of my buyers cancelled on me today, and my sister also cancelled on me. So now I am meeting four strangers across the city alone during the duration of 12:30-4:45. Great. 

I also still feel guilty about yesterdays struggle with he who should not be named. I didn't think it would carry with me until the morning. 

But the main reason why I came on here is because I want to share a memory that I have that nobody knows of. When I was in grade 10, three years ago almost four now, I dated a boy. He and I had a lot in common and we had similar personalities. Within one month into our relationship I cheated on him two times with another boy who was one year older than me, but still within our school. I remember one day we were supposed to meet early before school near the football field and I waited for him in the cold, wet morning and he never showed up. His phone was broken at the time so I had no way to contact him. Later on when I saw him at school I asked if he went and he said he slept in, and I said I did too. After that we stopped talking, and the boy I dated never found out. That was the first time I cheated on someone, but it wasn't the last time. What's that saying, once a cheater always a cheater? I hope that isn't as true as it sounds.