Rain, rain, rain

Heavy, as forecast, 

for evening commuters;

a ferocious attack, 

arrows angled in,

Agincourt again.

In serried ranks, 

caution or cowardice 

at the wheel,

our carapace motorcade 

progresses at a stately pace.

Street lights sway

like yellow-eyed

brachiopods,

spreading sheets of gold

before us;

the wind’s applause

buffets the line of cars,

spraying windows

with champagne,

cheering victors home.

.

Reviews

[Eilis]

Have been reading this for a couple of weeks Gerald, but haven’t been great at speaking so much lately. I really enjoyed, most, your use of language. There are some excellent flourishes here with serried and carapace and brachiopods. Just the right amount of interesting words spread between the more everyday language to set the scene up in a special way.

I thought the war imagery was great for describing the onslaught of heavy rain. The rain hitting straight on like arrows. That part created a vivid, dynamic scene for me. And then the deadlock and swaying lights—everything creating some other sensory experience. It may be just a commute with heavy rain, but in the poet’s hand, it becomes a moment marked in time. Memorialized.

I will say, at points I was thinking perhaps there was a deeper underlying meaning related to Brexit or other similar world stage upheavals, but I wasn’t sure if that was my mind stretching a bit too far. I know that event is looming at the end of the week, so perhaps it’s a subconscious connection on my part.

Either way, I enjoyed the poem very much. I learn a lot from your clean style where every word fits together like a puzzle piece and builds on the context of the others.

[Gerald Parker]

I really appreciate your comments on this poem, Eilis.Thank you.I wrote it about twenty years ago. It lay dormant for a long till I revised the ending, again, some years ago. But no, there's no subtext. Everybody I know was opposed to Brexit. Now the country is split almost 50 - 50. I just hope there won't be too many Brexit parties tomorrow night.

[Beccy]

The daily grind and commute in glorious definition. We are urbanised warriors now, our weapon of choice, technology, though our aim is the same as it ever was, victory over whatever opposes us.

Really like this Gerald.

Beccy.

[Gerald Parker]

Thank you, Beccy. Pleased you liked it.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I love the rain and read yours with envy
I love the sound of it on my roof and the smell
We had a light rain in my area last night it was bliss I woke up to see my white yes white burnt by heat grass with a faint new colour bliss
Love your poem by the way 👌

[Gerald Parker]

Thanks, Juiie. Not sure what white thing you mean? Are you near the fire?

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

White grass sorry it was burnt by the heatwaves we’ve had so many 43 plus days but this week had a www bit of rain and cooler weather I’m safe thanks

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Wee bit of rain

[John the Baptist]

Very imaginative device here, using battle imagery as a metaphor for slow moving traffic in the rain. I have been imprisoned in many such situations, some so thick that not even King Harry himself could have saved the day.

[Gerald Parker]

Thanks for your appreciative comment, John.