in the act

#4

tell the detective who sent me these photographs, tell him that i already know

don't let the night hold you close

no need the case is closed

i know the bad news

i knew it long ago

just like a card trick played for a blind man

i can suppose, assume or guess 

but i am so caught up to catch you in the act

ask this witness as to what they may know about the activities of the accused

and about the nice mistress

who was wearing the wedding dress

and some nice new brick shoes

we miserably play the part

taping up cardboard hearts

and everything i thought we were

i guess was not enough for her

and there is just no way out

when you are vowed to this house

as you just lye awake

lonely for her sake

and i'm just leaving you

as the young man goes to the institute 

Author's Note

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

oh my, i just found this piece
and what a treasure trove your pen wrought-- this just brilliant! the portrayal of dark intrigue, suspicions/anger just bleeds through this. amazing use of words and meter.

personally i find this ink reminiscent of the movie
"gaslight" brought to real life.
always a pleasure to immerse myself into your art.

thank you for sharing -- x

[mercy party]

thank you so much. I really appreciate the "gaslight" reference as it does have that tone and feel that someone is stuck manipulatively in questioning themselves.
i always appreciate your wonderful and thoughtful takes. Thank you.

[ms. barrie]

you're most welcome, mercy. always a pleasure for me to read your amazing writings- xx

[BBP]

ask this witness as to what they may know about the activities of the accused
and about the nice mistress
who was wearing the wedding dress
and some nice new brick shoes


ACE!!!!!!

[mercy party]

thank you much.

[BBP]

👊🏼⚡️ tuff stuff

[aLittlePain]

Lovely progressive pace, act 4 how apt certainly feels like a scene. I can't help but nod at Ana' review she's a sharp one :) , I also did not notice the subtle rhyme until I re-read I like that... a little something on the side. Great poem MP. R xo

[mercy party]

thank you for that. i much appreciate your take as i have enjoyed your writings. it does need to be a scene, doesn't it? and yes, she is razor-sharp! : ).

[Tony Jordan]

Hey, this is quite the scene.
The suspicion or the foreknowledge of our guy suggests a relationship on the 'cuckold spectrum' (it's a real thing - or should be).
The I don't think love ever lived here. Mistress and slave?
(that wasnt an offer)

[mercy party]

Ha! in all unfortunate seriousness, you at least have a symbolic point. lets just call it Stockholm Syndrome for now. Thanks always, i love your reviews!!

[Tony Jordan]

I'll take a 'symbolic point' all day M.P.
You're very welcome
:)

[mercy party]

i knew you'd get that! I'll set em up, you knock em down.

[JUPITER21]

brilliant!! "the young man goes to the Institute". the story has only just begun. Tell me he finds success!

[mercy party]

stay tuned. and thank you!

[Ana Papaya]

Call me crazy... But I can totally see this play out as a noire scene. Really like the way you build it, I almost missed the rhymes because the story carried me, when I read it a second time I realized they were there but so smooth and subtle that they weren't meant to lead the poem, just enhance it. Like the rhythm of bass to lead guitar. Anyway...
Act Four was a good poem.

[mercy party]

so crazy, crazy it just might work. your input is always prized. Thanks again.

[Ana Papaya]

You're welcome.

[anon]

I really loved this, nice piece. Really good.

[mercy party]

and thank you anon.