I want to go away...

Somewhere far...

To clear my head.

I want to see something new...Meet new thinking type people. See statues, bodies of water...eat food that I've never eaten before.

I want to smile. Smile all alone and send pics of my adventures. I want people to see me alive...not just surviving

drowning in the futility of financial indebtedness and empty hearts

that never linger long.

I want to be pulled into a tide by my leg wearing nothing but my hair and swim set. I want to be free of self doubt. Away from self pity. Smiling. Having a story to tell. Choosing the wrong answer to get to the right answer. A new life.

God is so good. God gave me people who I love. People who I know belong where they are in my life. Then I have others....others who will come. Others who are wise and truth seeking. People who, by their own nature, elevate me higher.

I can meet them there. I can. But will I? Will I stand for the truth of who I am...or will I die in the lie that I sometimes believe? If I could stop for one minute I could give my genius. If I could be who I am I could stop this night. I could come to a place.

I could meet them there...the Pure. The joy. The bliss. The bright. I could dance. Joke. Sing. Paint. Love. I could write! I can meet them there....there at the heart...the Life. I could meet them there.

Yes...yes...I could...There is a Love.

There--is a Love. A love that needs no explanation. 

A love that brings the tide in. 

A love that haunts and never stops pursuing its prey. A love that allows Joy. Laughter. Abandon. Dancing. Weak words. Strong words and silence. Even tears. So many tears and kisses and long hugs. Somewhere away. Away from bad intentions. Poor thoughts. Rotten apples. Fear. I can see it. I can see me there.

Yes. Yes.
I won't die before the moment. I will see this side. I will bathe in the beauty of the light. It feels so good. I have the smile. I have a heart and It is ready. I am waiting. I am calling and I am breathing for no other purpose than this. A way. Away.