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Gluteus Maximus

Gluteus Maximus

A Poem by fred

in biology in evolution a very important muscle


Gluteus Maximus


When that ape-man walked out onto the savannah

In his fancy, new fangled ,upright manner

Many dangerous animals lay in wait

Armed with knives and forks and plates.


But then all the wild dogs barked a warning

Which got the squawking parrots talking

“Oh look at that funky monkey walking.”

And that’s when hyenas started laughing.


So he spotted the leopard in the tree

He didn’t look a bit like fruit

Eyed the eagle high in the sky

Saw through the wolfs cheap sheep suit


And that tricky looking cheetah’s

Just a lion in disguise

He can change his pretty features

But he cant hide his lion eyes


But that early ape man had a plan

most wonderful.. most cunning

This seemingly simple walking man

Simply started. running.


And on and on he ran and ran

10.000 years and more

From the Rift valley where it all began

To California’s shining shore.


And all the while along the way

this running man was hunting

And all the while along the way

He did a spot of gathering


so trying to avoid the hungry apes

In that dim and distant past

Is how the zebra got his stripes

And why gazelles are fast


Why rabbits are so nervous

They know they should be stew!

Prickly porcupines are impervious

“I wouldn’t eat me…. Why should you? “


only one thing ever got him flustered

he couldn’t tell stork from bustard!!


 Eating hoof on the hoof

He was always on the move

The only time he ever sat down

Was for the 6 o-clock gnus


Now after 2 million years of evolution

We’ve turned that muscle into a cushion

So don’t get in that car! get off that bus!

Maximise your gluteus!!!


© 2013 fred

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At first this poem reminded me of my life at university and how I feel about people in it and then it reminded me of my need to work out. haha

Posted 7 Years Ago

Aspects of institutions

Although individual, formal organizations, commonly identified as "institutions," may be deliberately and intentionally created by people, the development and functioning of institutions in society in general may be regarded as an instance of emergence; that is, institutions arise, develop and function in a pattern of social self-organization, which goes beyond the conscious intentions of the individual humans involved.
As mechanisms of social interaction, institutions are manifest in both formal organizations, such as the U.S. Congress, or the Roman Catholic Church, and, also, in informal social order and organization, reflecting human psychology, culture, habits and customs, and encompassing subjective experience of meaningful enactments. Most important institutions, considered abstractly, have both objective and subjective aspects: examples include money and marriage. The institution of money encompasses many formal organizations, including banks and government treasury departments and stock exchanges, which may be termed, "institutions," as well as subjective experiences, which guide people in their pursuit of personal well-being. Powerful institutions are able to imbue a paper currency with certain value, and to induce millions into cooperative production and trade in pursuit of economic ends abstractly denominated in that currency's units.[citation needed] The subjective experience of money is so pervasive and persuasive that economists talk of the "money illusion" and try to disabuse their students of it, in preparation for learning economic analysis.[citation needed]

Posted 7 Years Ago

This was an impressive way of ideas and an ideal description of a little history for men. You sure go in your own way and did your best to do this poem. Very well, I shall give you enough points for that (:

Posted 7 Years Ago

The associations are brilliant. Another one of your smooth flowing writes.

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

thanks glad you enjoyed..
This is hilarious! love the last two lines!

Posted 7 Years Ago

"The six-o'-clock gnus"?
"His lion eyes"? (He can't hide 'em!
Oh, this is so funny! I was offput in the beginning as no two consecutive stanzas seemed to have the same rhyme scheme, but when I read it aloud, that somehow miraculously ceased to be a problem. I'll shortly be thanking Dr. Wood for introducing me to you--you and he seem to have a similarly bizarre slant on things!--and am looking forward to reading more of you in the near future.

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

thanks glad you enjoyed it........... i know i'm no classicist but hey rules are like promises ..mad.. read more
chuckling here... you remind me of Dr Woods and his joy in the world... excellent theme handled excellently! More please!

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

thanks.. and a good spot on dr wood..did you read namer of names?
Ha! Great stuff here, fred. I love that "lion eyes" business...made me laugh, but now I have that b*****d song in my head xD

Excellent write, I enjoyed this so very much.

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

ha ha that song i had it for a week,.. this came from something that had been hanging around for age.. read more

7 Years Ago

Amen to that...I recycle and reuse often.
Very Nice.

Posted 7 Years Ago

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20 Reviews
Added on March 3, 2013
Last Updated on March 3, 2013



northampton, United Kingdom

Hi, I came here to read other writers aiming to be inspired,( I can write in short bursts but the periods of hiatus are long) and I’m aiming high, perhaps too high. At the greatest quatrain ever.. more..


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