This One Moment

The moon's luminescent light
Softly brightens this peaceful night

As we just sit in silence
There is no need for elegant words
No need for explanation
No need of any convincing proof

The diamond's called stars glisten bright
Adding to the glorious painting in the sky's light

Silence remains but we both know
Like this night we cannot comprehend
How much it is or how to describe it
Love isn't easily put into words

With all this beauty close in sight
I can't look away from you, not with all my might

I need no proof that you feel the same
Just stay here and let the night's sweet melody
Take us away and we can be together
Forever in this moment



 
 

Reviews

[Cailean]

I enjoy the essence of this and your implementation is very well done, there's a good flow in it. Only a couple of things mar it for me - but poetry is probably the most exacting medium in writing. Novels, people can get away with entire chapters out of place, short stories have less room for error, but still some, while poetry requires such a focus sometimes I find it exhausting to write, which is why I rarely do!

I like the rhythmic repetition which complements the occasional rhyme as well. I think poetry does not require rhyming but it's also okay to rhyme; what matters most if it WORKS. The rules need to be known so they can be broken deliberately and with purpose.

I am not so much a poet to see if this breaks conventions in poetry but if it does, no matter. Besides one line that jars me (and that may just be a personal thing) and a niggling grammar error (which would be easily fixed) it flows well.

[diannesam]

This is such a beautiful poem. I love the rhyming in it, it really makes it work. I loved this!

[Aurora Lynn]

This was a very sweet poem! I really liked how you used different words when you rhymed, instead of using 'night' and 'light' all of the time.

For some reason some of the stanzas didn't flow quite as well as some would hope. Maybe if the lines had the same rhythem, it would sound a little better in my head.

Other then that I really liked the emotion that you put into this, the feeling of love that was personified. Thank you for writing!

[Lily Mae]

I love the romance and sweet love. You have penned these emotions very well. I hope that forever moment is yours :) xx