Milly's Journal - Chapter 9 - "Eric's Heart Speaks"

Eric shares his heart with Milly in a very special way.

Milly's Journal















Chapter 9
"Eric's Heart Speaks"

(Please remember to read the footnotes at the end of the chapter as it explains why I write some of the things I do.)

Dear Dad,

It's Sunday evening. Mom is in her bedroom getting ready to go out tonight. She has some sort of dinner meeting with her boss, Mr. Brandt and coworkers, and Louis is out in the backyard with Max. But today was a day I'll never forget! And there was no way I could wait to tell you about it.

Geneva was here for most of the afternoon. She went back home for awhile, but she's going to come back in a few minutes to keep me company while Mom is gone, as well as help me babysit Louis. I think she's going to bring back a few movies she has so we have something fun to do tonight. We also plan to order some pizza to be delivered. I can't wait because I'm already starving! It's going to be such a fun night!

But first I have to tell you about what happened earlier today!

We spent all morning today just being lazy. We slept in again and decided to take the day to relax and not bother working so hard like we did yesterday. Actually, this morning was kind of....boring.

After we had gotten up, Louis and I tried to find something to watch on TV. But there was nothing interesting on at all that we liked. For some reason, they chose Sundays to air nothing but extremely dull shows on every single channel. After awhile, Louis started moaning and groaning about having nothing to do. He was getting on my nerves so badly, I just gave up with the TV and let him play his video games...as if he doesn't get to play them enough already. Ha ha, yeah right!

Anyway, though we didn't plan to do any work today, Mom decided that today would be a good day to do the laundry. We hadn't even thought about washing our clothes in the last few days, which made everything start to really pile up. So I went and helped her out with it.

Well Dad, everything was going great...until we put the clothes in the dryer. It did NOT want to turn on! Yes it was plugged in and we were sure we were pushing the right buttons, but nothing was working. Why the family who lived here before us let us move in with a broken dryer, I'll never know.

But thankfully they had left a clothesline up in the backyard. Plus it was a beautiful, warm day. So we ended up letting the clothes dry outside today. First thing Monday, however, we're calling the repairman to come and fix this stupid thing!

Geneva arrived a little after lunchtime this afternoon. I spent a few minutes showing her around the house. I let her see my room, which she seemed to like how I have it decorated. She did ask me if I was ever going to change the wallpaper. Actually, I'm wanting to change it ASAP!! It's kind of embarrassing having pictures of football players all over my walls. But we haven't really gotten around to talking about changing the wallpaper yet. But I swear to you, Dad, it MUST be done sometime soon, or I might go INSANE!!!

We sat on the bed and chatted for a few minutes. Well to be honest, Geneva did most of the chatting...unfortunately about nothing I was interested in as usual.

But then I decided after awhile we could use some cold drinks, since it was an unusually warm day today for this early in Spring. And I was hoping maybe we could somehow find something else to talk about besides clothes and the Mall. Because Geneva seems to be only interested in talking about those kinds of subjects. (Dad, did I say I was looking forward to her coming over? Hmmm...I'm beginning to reconsider that statement.)

Seriously though, I really was enjoying having someone my age to spend the day with. So I guess I shouldn't complain.

On our way to the kitchen to get the drinks, we ran into Mom in the hallway getting ready to bring the laundry hanging outside on the line back inside. Dad, she was still looking a bit tired, so I insisted that she should go sit down and relax for the rest of the afternoon, and Geneva and I would bring in the laundry.

I think she was very grateful that I offered to help, because the way she smiled and thanked me let me believe she really needed a break. She also mentioned she wanted to take some time today to study up on her computer books before she had to leave for her dinner meeting tonight.

I hollered for Louis to come and join us, but he was too involved with his graveyard to even think about coming over to help fold clothes. It wasn't surprising he reacted that way, so I shouldn't have even bothered asking him to help out.

Geneva and I took our drinks outside to the picnic table and began taking the clothes off the line. And once again, Geneva started her usual babbling off about absolutely nothing as I tried desperately to tune out all the crazy stuff she was going on and on about.

Not bothering to even try to listen to her every single word, I looked over at Eric's house in hopes that I would see him sitting on his windowsill. I was thinking that maybe I could mention something about him to her which could help us finally have something more interesting to talk about together.

Unfortunately, Eric was nowhere to be seen. But I did remember something I've been wanting to ask someone who's known about him for a long time now. I was very curious to know what he was like when he was a little boy. Did he act the same way when he was a child as he does now? And with Geneva living just down the street a little ways, maybe she would be able to let me know more about him that Mrs. Sherman might not have mentioned to me earlier.

Geneva had then started yakking nonstop about some stupid movie she had seen. But the very next second she stopped talking long enough to take a breath, I immediately jumped in and asked her right off..."Geneva, what was Eric's life like when he was a little boy after his parents died?"

Silence!!

Geneva suddenly got super quiet and looked over at me with the most puzzled look on her face. I'm not sure why she thought my question was so odd...I guess she wondered why I would ask her something like that instead of asking her more about that movie she had been talking about.

I also asked her how long she had been living here, and if she had ever seen Eric when he was a child and what he did back then.

To my surprise, Geneva's confused expression changed into a smile. However it wasn't a happy smile. It was a smile that was more like she was letting me know that yes...she knows about some of Eric's childhood days, but what she knows about him back then was very heart-rending.

It was actually the first time I'd ever seen Geneva act this way. I knew right away she truly had something serious to tell me about Eric when she suggested that she and I should sit down at the picnic table.

Dad, looking at Eric now, I can tell he hasn't had much of a joyful or peaceful life at all. And for the most part, he's mostly missing being loved by his family. But I have to say, hearing everything that Geneva told me this afternoon was some of the most heartbreaking things I think I've ever heard happening to anyone.

(1) Geneva first moved here when she was very little at five-years old. Eric was about seven or eight and had already been living with his Uncle Hugo for almost three years. Uncle Hugo's wife had left him several years before, so he had been living alone for quite some time...until he got custody of Eric when he was five-years old after his parents were killed in the plane crash.

Uncle Hugo had already been suffering with a deep depression after losing his wife. So having to take on guardianship of Eric wasn't something he wanted to do, or thought he would be able to do. But since he was Eric's only living relative, he didn't have much of a choice.

Uncle Hugo did drink every once in awhile when Eric was a child, but not as often as he does now. And as far back as Geneva can remember, she had never seen any time where he would pay much attention to Eric or even play with him. Unless he played with him when they were inside the house, she never really saw them do anything together.

She also never saw Eric playing outside like other little boys. He never played any games, rode a bike, or played with toys. And he never had any children his age come over to play with him either.

Geneva said she remembers whenever Eric did go outside, he would often stand still in the middle of his front yard staring straight ahead at nothing, or he would be gazing upwards for a long amount of time looking into the sky. There would be many times when he would just walk slowly in circles around his yard for an hour or so with his arms held out from his sides acting as if he was an airplane.

What was the saddest for me to hear was when Geneva told me what it was like when real airplanes would fly over his house. If Eric was inside and a plane would pass over, he would come running out to the yard as fast as he could, reaching up to the sky, with his eyes totally focused on the plane. It was like he was trying his hardest to reach with his tiny hands to grab the plane and bring the plane down to him. And when he saw that the plane wasn't going to stop, but kept going till it disappeared, he would just fall to the ground, curl up into a tight ball and cry as hard and as loud as he could. What was even worse was when this happened, Uncle Hugo wouldn't even come out to help him. He stayed inside the whole time and let Eric stay outside there on the ground crying all by himself.

I asked Geneva what was it that made Eric do that...why would he cry every time a plane went by?

And Dad, when I asked her that, I saw her eyes start to fill with tears. She realized it and quickly fought them back so that I wouldn't see she was about to cry. I never knew Geneva could be like that in front of me. It was a side of her I never knew she had.

But then I found out what brought her to tears.

She explained she really feels that because Eric was so little at the time, even though for some reason he was aware of when the plane his parents were in crashed, he somehow wanted to think they might have survived. So anytime he saw an airplane fly over his house, he really believed his Mom and Dad were still alive, and they were inside the plane coming back home to him. He would get so excited thinking he was going to see them again that he would try to reach his hands up to help bring the plane down to him faster. But every time he saw the planes fly on past without stopping, it made him believe his Mom and Dad didn't want to come home and see him. And that for some reason they didn't love or care about him anymore. He felt like his own parents were rejecting him and he couldn't understand why. He probably thought it was something he did. And this hurt him so deeply, till all he could do was cry and cry when he saw the airplanes were flying away from him.


















Geneva feels that being the age he was at the time, along with having autism, he wasn't able to understand the concept of death. He never fully understood that his Mom and Dad had really been killed until he got to be a few years older, when he finally figured out the truth about what happened.

She also told me that sometimes cars would come and go from his house every few weeks or so. Most of the time someone would come to pick up Eric and take him somewhere, then bring him back a few days later. Sometimes it would be hard to get Eric into the car. He would kick, scream, cry, and fight as hard as he could to get away from them. While at other times, he would get into the car willingly, but he would stay very quiet with his head sadly hanging down.

Geneva said she people who would take him looked like they were some type of doctors. But later she found out that they were the people who were doctors and assistants from a nearby institution. And that's the place they were taking Eric to.

Oh my gosh, Dad! I just couldn't believe all of the things Geneva was telling me! To have all this happen to Eric when he was that young...it was some of the worst things I think I've ever heard happen to a child! I tried so hard not to cry as she was telling me all these stories, but at times I could feel the tears coming anyway.

Geneva went on by saying that Eric never got up on his roof or started sitting on windowsills until he was about eleven or twelve-years old. And as he was getting into his teenage years, that was when Uncle Hugo's drinking seemed to have gotten worse. But she didn't know why. That's also when Eric closed himself off to the world and people even more. And he never cried anymore after that either.

I was also curious if Geneva ever tried to help him or anything before I moved here. I asked her if she had been over to his house or tried talking to him at all.

She said, "no," although there were a lot of times when she wanted to. But when she was little, her Mom strongly urged her to stay far away from Eric, and to never go over to his house or even go near it...as if he was dangerous or something.

Sadly, in my opinion, it sounded like Geneva's Mom was a little scared of Eric and his Uncle and thought maybe they were crazy by the way they acted. So even up till now, Geneva has never gone over to his house. In fact, she said no one else in the neighborhood would go over there either. Everyone was too creeped out by everything they would see going on with Eric so they've always kept their distance.

Dad, knowing that the rest of the neighbors were acting like this made me so sad, but also very angry. Not only do the kids at school treat Eric like he's some crazy person or something, the adults in this very neighborhood think about him and treat him in the exact same way! It's not fair and I think it's just awful!

Geneva and I sat there quietly for a few minutes as I tried to understand everything, and take it all in.

Then I suddenly remembered how the other day Eric had shown up in my bedroom and was sitting on my windowsill - then within a few seconds later, he ended up back on his own windowsill. I was wondering if Geneva had seen anything weird like that with him. Since she's lived here for several years, surely I'm not the only one who's seen things happen with Eric that are so unusual, there is just no way to explain any of it.

So I went ahead and asked her, (not mentioning the part about Eric in my room) to tell me more of what she knows about him. Mainly if she's seen anything extremely...weird.

Dad, she just gave me the craziest look and started laughing as she said, "Milly, that is ALL I've ever seen him do!"

I'm not sure if she understood what I was asking her. So I explained to her that's not what I meant, and asked her again. I made sure she knew I wanted to know if she's seen anything REALLY weird. Like "so-unnatural-it's-not-something-a-normal-human-being-would-do" weird.

Geneva nodded her head as she picked up some shirts from the table and started folding them. That reminded me how we were originally out there to take the clothes off the line and fold them. So I quickly grabbed a stack of clothes and began folding along with her.

She started by telling me about some guy by the name of Dinky Patterson had told her something extremely weird about Eric one time.

Dinky Patterson?? What kind of a name is "Dinky?"

I bit my lip and tried my best not to burst out laughing as I asked her who this Dinky Patterson person was.

Geneva smiled and explained that Dinky and his family lived in our house before we moved in. Dinky had the room that I'm in now.

Oh great, Dad! My room used to be a "Dinky room!" Now nice!...

I'm just kidding with ya, Dad! (I still think he has a very stupid sounding name though!!)

Anyway, Geneva's story happened a few years ago when Dinky had gotten extremely annoyed with Eric constantly sitting on his windowsill all the time. He just couldn't take it anymore. So one day, he got out his BB-gun and stuffed it full of wet Kleenex and started shooting at Eric.

Wow, Dad! How sweet was that? (and yes, that is total sarcasm) although it was quite funny to imagine.

Geneva went on telling me how Dinky kept shooting the wet Kleenex at Eric for about an hour. But Eric would not budge, no matter what! And that made Dinky so angry, he just gave up with the Kleenex and tried to think of what else he could use to shoot at Eric that would make him stop sitting on his windowsill.

Geneva stopped her story to take a drink of her soda. I of course sat there eagerly waiting to find out what she would be telling me next!

Then, she leaned over till she was a little closer to me and said in a whisper, "Okay, now here's the weird part!"

I leaned in closer to her as well as I really couldn't wait to hear how this story was going to end!

She continued with the story about how the next day, Dinky couldn't find his BB-gun. He looked everywhere for it, but it was nowhere to be found in the house.

Obviously Geneva was really enjoying telling me this crazy story as she excitedly asked me with a huge grin on her face to guess where he ended up finding his gun.

I had absolutely no clue to where she was going with this, so I told her to go ahead and tell me.

She turned around in her seat and pointed to one of the telephone poles that was all the way down the street. She asked, "See that box on top of that pole?"

I looked and noticed there was a grey tube-shaped box that was attached to the very top of the pole. (No, I have no idea what those boxes are for or what they're called.) But..I was super curious to know what the box had to do with Dinky's BB-gun.

So get this, Dad...Geneva said that Dinky saw his gun was laying on the very top of that box, and that somehow Eric had put it there!

Okay! Now if anything, THAT was one of the most craziest things I have ever heard! It was so silly, it left me speechless for awhile. I wasn't sure what to say to Geneva to let her know what I thought about that ridiculous story!

However, Geneva happened to add that Dinky had always been one of the best liars she's ever known. So there's probably no way that ever could've happened anyway. I think it's possible Dinky told that story just to get a rise out of people, as well as make people avoid Eric even more by making them believe Eric is absolutely insane and is someone that everybody needs to be fearful of.

I did ask Geneva what happened to Dinky and his family and why he moved.

She kind of shrugged and said his Dad got some hot job in Atlanta, so he just took off with his whole family. She's never seen or heard from him since. Actually, I'm a bit glad to know Dinky is nowhere near here anymore. He doesn't seem like someone I'd want to come in contact with. (Although I might take a quick look around in my bedroom just in case he left some of his wet Kleenexes behind - yes Dad, I'm joking again!)

Geneva and I worked to finish up with folding the clothes and getting them ready to take back inside the house. It was starting to get a bit hotter outside, so I was wanting to hurry up and go back inside to cool off a little.

But before I could really think about what I was going to do next, Geneva shocked me with the question I was hoping she would never get around to asking me. And that is....she wanted to know where you were, Dad.

I knew in time she was going to wonder why she's never seen you around anywhere ever since we moved in. So I'm not exactly sure why it surprised me when she asked. I guess it's because I'm dreading how I will answer her. Because death is not an easy subject to talk about with a person sometimes.

But I understood that she really did want to know, and I knew I had to say something. So I let her know that you had died.

And I just knew the next thing she was going to be asking me was what you died of.

Dad, I felt so nervous talking to her about you. I mean, I wasn't sure how she was going to react. I'm still getting to know her as a friend, and right now it's very difficult to talk about something this personal with her.

So I took a deep breath and told her that you died of cancer.

I realized I was right in thinking that talking to Geneva about your death was definitely not an easy thing to do, and now I'm wishing she hadn't brought it up. Because she immediately started telling me this story about how everyone in her family dies of cancer...(Everyone??) She said it like it's such a normal thing to her. And would you believe it Dad, she was telling me how her Grandmother had stomach cancer and had lost three-hundred pounds before she died, and how it was the best she ever looked after losing all that weight.

Yes Dad, I was absolutely dumbfounded that she was telling me this. Didn't she even care that her Grandmother died at all? Didn't that mean something to her?

It really bothered me she was like this, Dad. In fact, I was almost ready to just get up and walk away from her....until she wanted to know what kind of cancer you had.

I decided that all I could tell her was that I didn't know.

Geneva shook her head in disgust saying how she wasn't surprised that they didn't tell me. And then she was saying these crazy things about how parents never tell the kids...etc.

Next, when she asked me if your cancer took a long time, there was no way I was going to answer her with a question like that! It was getting to be too much for me, and getting way too personal, so I just went ahead and asked her if she could please talk about something else.

Thankfully, I think she got the message because she agreed with me and never mentioned another word about it..which was a huge relief!

I tried to remember what it was we were talking about before she started with all those questions about you. She had made me feel so uncomfortable with the more she wanted to know, it made me forget what we were discussing about earlier. Geneva was the same way. She too had no memory of what went on before the last conversation started. She shrugged as she sat back in her chair, and we both had no idea what to say to each other. And for the first time in awhile, Geneva and I sat there for a few minutes with nothing to talk about. So we did the only thing we could think of....we went back to folding the laundry.

A few more minutes passed when I noticed this cool breeze had started to blow throughout the backyard. It felt really good with the way the sun had begun to get so much hotter this afternoon.

I was enjoying the feeling of the nice cool air as it was blowing on my face, when suddenly I had this unusual feeling that something very strange was going on somewhere behind me. A feeling that something was just not right!

Once again I heard the familiar sound of windchimes start to play along with the breeze. Though the tune they were playing sounded very beautiful, it was like the chimes themselves were calling my name.

So...I turned around to look. And to my horror, I saw Eric! He was standing at the very top edge of his roof, his arms held out from his sides, looking up towards the sky as if he might actually jump off!

Seeing him up that high while being that close to the edge scared me to death, Dad! He could've fallen off so easily! And as far down to the ground as it was, he would definitely be seriously injured or even killed!

Not even saying a word to Geneva, I jumped out of my chair as fast as I could and ran over into Eric's yard. The whole time I was running, I was shouting his name and I yelled at him to get away from the edge!

I stopped when I was directly below him. I was almost shaking with fear, not knowing what I should do to help him. All I did know was that Eric wasn't listening to me and he didn't even realize I was standing on the ground right below him, yelling at him to go back inside. I could see he was way off in his own world, and he had no idea he was in any danger at all.

Geneva and Louis came running up behind me. Max came over as well, barking loudly and furiously, sensing that something very serious was going on.

As I was racking my brains trying to figure out what to do, all Geneva was doing was asking me over and over again what was I doing and why was I shouting at Eric. (2) I just ignored her and raced down to the basement to find a ladder.

I came back to Eric's yard running at top speed (with Geneva, Louis, and Max still following close behind) and put the ladder against the house. Geneva yelled at Louis to go get Mom, and to get her fast!

All that was on my mind at the moment was that I needed to get Eric away from the edge of his roof, ASAP!!

As soon as I knew the ladder was sturdy enough, I started climbing it as fast as I could get my legs to go. I could hear Geneva still hollering at me and asking me why on earth was I doing this. But I refused to take the time to explain, and focused on getting myself up on Eric's roof before he could fall.

The minute I reached the top and was standing on the roof, I realized how high up I really was. Everything down below on the ground was so tiny looking and there was nothing nearby I could hold on to for support. I could feel my heart pounding so fast and hard, I thought it was going to pound right out of my chest! I was also starting to feel pretty dizzy. But I couldn't give in to how terrified I was. Eric needed my help.

From where I was, I could see he was straight ahead of me, standing there at the very edge, his arms still outstretched as if he was getting himself ready to leap off.

To get to where he was, I was going to have a bit of a long walk all the way across the top of the roof. And there was still nothing at all I could see that I could hold on to. I was going to have to do this all on my own.

I was so afraid, I was literally trembling all over, and I actually felt like I could pass out. But I told myself to stop focusing on how scared I was, and to only think about helping Eric before something terrible might happen to him.

I prayed and asked God to please protect me, and help guide me across safely. And I also asked God to keep Eric safe until I could get over to him.

Then...I took a deep breath and took the first step forward.

As carefully, but also as quickly as I could, I made my way across the top of the roof, trying my best to keep my balance and also not to look down. And yes, I still felt terrified knowing what I was doing was very dangerous.

Geneva then started to yell at me to please be careful. Which of course she didn't need to even tell me that since I was already being as careful as I could be. I've never walked a tightrope before in my life, Dad. But walking across Eric's roof like I was made me think that walking a tightrope was probably very similar to what I was doing right then.

It felt like it was taking forever, but I breathed a sigh of relief as I made it safely across and was finally standing directly behind Eric. I slowly reached my arms out to him, (making sure I wasn't going to scare him,) and I very gently put my hands on his shoulders and then held on tightly to him.

He must have realized I was there, because the moment I touched him, he lowered his arms back down to his sides. However he still kept his eyes fixed only at the sky above him.

By that time, Mom had come running over, shouting as loud as she could at me to get off the roof immediately! It was obvious she was in a huge panic seeing me up that high, and honestly, I don't blame her one bit, as I was feeling like I was about to have a major panic attack myself.

I kept a firm hold onto Eric so there would be no way he could try jumping off, as I tried to reassure Mom, Geneva, and Louis that I was okay.

The only thing I wanted to do right then, was to get Eric off of the roof and back inside. And I too wanted to get back down to the ground as quickly as possible.

Not knowing how Eric would react to me encouraging him to go back inside, I very carefully began to move him back away from the edge, while saying in a soft, quiet voice, "Come on, Eric. Let's go back inside, okay?"

I was so afraid he would get frightened with me trying to get him to move back. But thankfully he turned around himself and started heading towards the other side of the roof. Although he seemed to know where he was going, I was going to keep a hold of him and I wasn't going to let go until he was back inside the house again and safe.

I continued to follow behind him and saw that he was heading towards a window on the side of the roof.

As he reached the window, I let him go, and I watched him as he climbed inside and disappeared.

I felt so relieved to know it was all over, and I was more than ready to get myself back down on the ground again.

But as I turned to go back to the ladder, something made me stop and look back at the window Eric had just went into. The windchimes I had been hearing earlier were hanging from this very window, and as another breeze began to blow, the chimes began playing their beautiful, sweet song again. It was like they were beckoning me, and encouraging me to come back. The tune they were playing was such a peaceful sounding tune, that for just a moment, I had forgotten all about how fearful I was feeling just minutes earlier.

I couldn't see Mom, Geneva, or Louis anymore from where I was, but I could still hear them yelling at me, asking me where I was, and where was I taking Eric to.

I shouted back at them letting them know that I was still doing okay, and that I had found a window over on the other side of the roof.

I finally made up my mind that it would be a good idea to follow Eric inside, just to make sure he was still okay.

With the way the angle of the window was, I had to grab on to the top of it, and while holding on to it as tightly as I could, I had to swing myself over to get to the opened side of the window. It wasn't easy, but I made it safely and I climbed inside of the window.

I then found myself standing in a very dark, and musty smelling attic. I had to wait a few seconds till my eyes adjusted to the dark so I could see better.

Once I could finally see a little bit, I stood there looking around at the attic, wondering if Eric could be in there somewhere. Or had he gone to another part of the house?

I couldn't see a trace of him anywhere. So I was about to turn around and go back out the window, when I suddenly caught a glimpse of what I thought was a figure of a person standing in the shadows at the far end of the attic. The whole place was full of all sorts of junk piled up everywhere till it was really difficult to make anything out. But as I looked more closely, I was finally able to see that yes, it was Eric......and he was looking down at something.

I felt I should go over to him, check to see if he was okay, then I would go and leave him alone.

I didn't want to frighten him in case he didn't know I was in the attic with him, so I very quietly walked through all the junk to get over to him.

When I was finally standing beside of him, I lightly touched him on his arm to let him know I was there and that I wasn't going to hurt him.

He didn't move when I touched him, and he never looked over at me either. He just kept his eyes on something sitting on a table in front of him.
















I tried to see what it was he was looking at, but there wasn't enough light in the corner of the attic where we were. But I was able to make out what looked like a photograph inside a frame. All I know was that whatever the photograph was of, it was certainly what he had his full attention on.

Then, one of the most amazing things happened!

Eric reached over and turned on a switch that was on the side of a beam, and the attic filled with light!

Now Dad, I know that turning on a light is something most everyone does every single day. It's normal. And most likely we don't even give it any thought after we do it, right? So why would someone turning on a light be so amazing to me?

Because for the first time ever, Eric responded to me. Even though he never looked at me, he knew I was standing there beside him, and he understood I wasn't able to see because it was too dark. I really feel in my heart that Eric was wanting me to see what the photo was of by turning on the light for me. He's never reacted like this with me before, Dad. It's almost too hard to believe!

Then I looked more closely at the photo to see it was of a man and a woman...and the woman was holding a precious little boy who looked about two years old.

Then it hit me....I knew who the people in the photo were. The two adults were Eric's Mom and Dad and the little boy...the little boy was Eric.

I had to take a deep breath to keep the tears from coming into my eyes. Dad, that photo is the only thing Eric has left where he can see his parents when they were still alive. It's the same way when we look at our family photos of you. And you know, looking at photos of the people we love who have died, is a way we can always see and remember them when they were alive. But seeing them in photographs can make you feel so happy. Because you get to see them when they were still alive, smiling and well. But at the same time, looking at those kinds of photos can also be extremely painful. Because you are reminded of how much you miss them. And you know they really aren't there. They are now just images on paper.

I looked over at Eric again. From the moment I found him in the attic, he never once took his eyes off of that photo. And the emotion I could see in his eyes as he was looking at his parents...was nothing but the deepest sadness I think I've ever seen him look.

I thought back to the story Geneva told me about when Eric was a child, and the way he acted when planes would fly over his house. And now seeing him looking at a photo of his Mom and Dad, it was almost too much for me to take!

I wanted to say something to him. But the words just wouldn't come. The only thing I could do was to stand there beside him and look at the photo with him, hoping that somehow there would be a way to let him know that I understood the terrible pain he's been going through for so many years.

Suddenly, after about a minute or so as we stood there together side by side in that small, stuffy attic, I felt this warm and tender touch of a hand, gently take hold of mine.

Yes, Eric had reached over and had taken my hand and was holding it as he continued to sadly look at the photo.

Though he couldn't speak to me in words, it was like he was speaking to me with his heart. First by turning on the light for me so I could see, and then by taking my hand. It was as if he was telling me that the people in the photo were his parents, and he was letting me know that he now understands that they both died, and he's never going to see them again. He was showing me how much he's missing them and that he's hurting even more because he wasn't able to save them.

Once again, I so very badly wanted to say something to him....anything, to let him know I cared, and that it wasn't his fault he couldn't save them. But like before, I couldn't get a single word to come. I tried!

My heart was breaking for him so much, till the only thing I was able to do was to just stand there and be with him for a few more minutes.
















I really do believe he was wanting me to stay there with him as he kept on gently holding my hand. It almost looked like he was about to cry. But he never shed a tear.

The one thing I noticed the most about him was the way he was looking at the photo. Through the deep sadness and pain he had in his eyes, I could also see an undying love. Eric loves his Mom and Dad very very much. And the love he feels for them has remained so strong this many years later.

After a few more minutes had gone by, I remembered that Mom, Louis, and Geneva were still waiting for me outside. They had no idea what had just happened or what I was doing after they had seen me go to the other side of the roof. I didn't want them to get worried about me, so I thought I had better get back to them, and to let them know I was okay and that Eric was back safely inside his house.

I looked at Eric again. He was still looking down at the photo, and he was also still holding my hand.

Oh I felt so bad about having to leave him after he had opened himself up to me for the very first time. And as much as he was hurting, I think he wanted me to stay with him for a little while longer.

I really believe this could be the first time anyone has taken time to be with him as a friend who truly understands his feelings. Maybe there's never been anyone who has taken time to really "listen" to him. And I learned how to listen to him while I was in the attic with him this afternoon. If people could just understand that Eric CAN speak. He just speaks in a different kind of way. You just need to learn how to really listen to him. Just listen with your heart. And I promise you, you will hear him speak back to you.

But sadly I did need to leave. And as hard as it was, I still really wanted to say something to him before I left.

As much as it broke my heart to do this, I let him know by saying, "I have to go now, Eric."

I couldn't tell if he heard me say it. Because he still wouldn't even look at me at all. I even tried explaining to him how I thought Mom, Louis, and Geneva were outside waiting for me, and that I needed to go and let them know I was okay.

Oh Dad, it hurt like everything to have to say that to him. It hurt so much, I could barely get the words out as I was saying them. Each word came out in almost a whisper. My throat started to hurt a little and tears filled my eyes. But I tried my best to fight it because I didn't want Eric to know I was about to cry.

I then explained to him that I really wanted to stay, but couldn't because I needed to get back to my family. It was just so hard to do, Dad!

However, I think he might have finally understood me. Because after a few seconds, he let go of my hand. His eyes shifted from looking at the photo till he was then staring at the far wall of the attic ahead of him. And the emotion I had seen in his eyes earlier had started changing back to his usual blank and empty stare.

I was so afraid that I was about to lose him as he was slowly starting to drift away again. He was going back into his lonely, dark world, till I dearly wanted to do something to keep him from putting those walls back up around him again and closing me out like he was doing with me in gym class. But there was nothing I could do, Dad. I was no longer able to reach him anymore.

Though I was still trying my hardest not to cry, I could feel a few tears had begun falling down my cheeks anyway.

Because I was so heartbroken about what was now happening, without realizing I was going to do this, I suddenly found myself saying outloud to him, "Eric, don't do this! Please come back to me!"

No response. He wouldn't look at me, or at the photo....he wouldn't do anything.

He had gone and locked himself back inside his world, and I had once again become invisible to him. So I thought the best thing I should do was to just leave.

Before I left, I really felt like reaching over and giving him a hug. And I almost did...till something told me I shouldn't do it. I'm not sure what it was, but it made me feel that he probably wasn't comfortable with someone hugging him right now. I also didn't want to scare him since he might not even remember what a hug is.

But I did reach up, and I very gently put my hand on his shoulder and told him I was sorry....so sorry that his heart was hurting over the loss of his parents, and sorry that I needed to go.

He did seem to be okay with my hand on his shoulder, but still...he wouldn't look at me. He just stood there....silently staring at the wall as if I wasn't even there anymore.

I wiped away the tears from my eyes as I turned and went toward the window to leave.

Just as I got to the window, I looked back and saw Eric heading towards the attic door that led down into his house. Now Dad, I don't know why I did this, but instead of going out the window, I went and followed him. (The curiosity got the best of me I guess.)

I stayed close behind him as he went down the attic steps into a hallway. I could hear Mom and Louis anxiously calling my name. Their voices were coming from a window in one of the bedrooms near the attic stairway.

I wasn't sure if Eric heard them also, but he walked into the room with the window where they were outside standing under. Of course I was following right behind him.

Eric went over and sat down on the bed and I went to the window to look out. And sure enough, there they all were...Mom, Louis, Geneva, and even Max were all looking straight up at me. I waved my hand out the window at them and shouted down to them saying that Eric and I were fine. Louis actually cheered for me saying, "All right Milly! Way to go!"

They asked if I was coming down, and I let them know I'd be down in just a second. Mainly I was glad to let them know that all was well and neither Eric or I had fallen off the roof or anything. But about that very thing, Dad....

Before I left, I wanted to be sure to tell Eric that he SHOULD NOT go to the far edge of the roof anymore. It was just too high and way too dangerous for him.

So I went over to where he was sitting on the bed, took his hand, leaned down till I was eye to eye with him and seriously explained to him that he should stay away from the edges of the roof from now on, and that it was safer for him to stay on the windowsill instead.

As usual, he gave me no response whatsoever.

But as I was standing there in front of him looking directly into his eyes, for just a second, I swear I thought I saw a little sparkle in them as he was looking back at me. For that very moment, the emptiness and his usual blank stare wasn't what I was seeing in his eyes anymore. And it really felt like he was starting to come back to me again.

Honestly, with the way his eyes looked, something told me that Eric knew exactly what I was saying to him...but at the same time, he just wasn't fully letting on. I even told him that, Dad, and when I did, I did in fact see a sparkle in his eyes again, as if he was letting me know that yes.....he does understand me.

I stood there for a few more seconds, just looking into those big brown eyes that were now beginning to look like they were coming back to life. And then, I suddenly felt that familiar feeling of joy leap up inside of me. The very same feeling I had the first day I was in the backyard when he and I made eye contact. And the same feeling I felt when I made the decision to volunteer to roll the volleyball to him in gym class. It was just a wonderful, amazing feeling, Dad! It was like something deep inside of me was still trying to tell me that I am doing the right thing, and that what I'm doing is good.

Since the special feeling had returned, it made it even harder for me to leave him. But I decided that I really needed to get back outside.

So as much as I hated to do it, I said, "bye" to Eric and told him he needed to stay there in the bedroom.

But as I stood up to walk away, a weird thing happened. Eric didn't want to let go of my hand. I tried again to leave, but I couldn't when I felt his hand suddenly grip more tightly to mine. He even began pulling me back over to him. And this time he never took his eyes off me. It was like he was just begging me to stay with him for a while longer.

However, I thought I really needed to go. So I put my other hand on top of his to hold it still, and I yanked my hand free from his grasp. It made me feel so awful to have to do it, Dad. But how else was I going to leave?

I walked out the bedroom door, glancing back at him as I left. He was still watching me the whole time.

As I got back into the hallway, I reached over and quietly closed the door behind me.

I walked down the hallway trying to find the stairs to get down to the front door. As I went, I couldn't help but peek into the other rooms as I passed by them.

One room however was a total mess! Dirty clothes thrown everywhere, the bed wasn't made, and there was trash and empty beer bottles laying all over the place. There was also some sort of sickening odor coming from inside the room somewhere. Also, a small TV set was on, but nobody was in the room watching it.

I couldn't figure it out, Dad. The bedroom I had just left where Eric was sitting on the bed was so neat, orderly and very clean. So who stayed in this messy bedroom?

After seeing that, I really wanted to get out of there fast!

As I walked on down to the other end of the hallway, I got one of the biggest scares in my life when I suddenly heard this man's deep, scratchy, voice coming from directly behind me say, "Don't shake the floor, please."

Oh my gosh, it scared me so badly, I literally jumped and backed up against the wall. I stood there with my hand on my chest, trying to keep my heart from coming out, it was beating so hard.

I looked down to where the voice came from. Sitting on the top of the stairway was this old, scruffy looking man who had a full bottle of beer in one hand, and a cork in the other. It didn't take me long to figure out this man was Eric's Uncle Hugo.

He motioned for me to stay still as he dropped the cork onto the hallway floor. Then he picked it up and dropped it on the floor again.

He did this for a fourth time and stopped when the cork landed on the floor again, but this time it landed upright.

He looked up at me, smiled, pointed to the cork and said, "There we go!"

He then explained to me this weird superstition about how you can't start drinking on a new bottle until the cork lands on it's feet.

I had no idea what to do or say to him, so I just smiled back at him as if I understood what he was talking about. I wasn't standing very near him, but I was close enough that I could smell the foul odor of alcohol coming from him.

He kind of laughed and said how frustrating it was when it takes a long time for the cork to land just perfectly, but also how it was absolutely delightful when it would happen on the first toss.

All I can say is, wow! It was easy for me to tell this man was extremely drunk and totally out of it, Dad. His speech was quite slurred when he spoke, and sometimes he would almost close his eyes as if he was about to fall asleep. He more than likely had already been drinking a few by the way he was acting.

I was desperate to get out of there as fast as I could. But Uncle Hugo was so sprawled out on top of the stairs, there was no way I could get around him.

My heart started racing again when he held the bottle up in front of me and asked if I wanted a drink.

I immediately told him firmly, but politely, "No, thank you!"

I think my response bothered him and made him a little angry because it made him think I was calling him a drunk by refusing his offer.

I was trying so hard to not let him see how nervous he was making me. So I tried my best to stay calm, and let him know I thought that calling someone a drunk just wouldn't be a polite thing to say to someone. (Even if the person was obviously very drunk at the time.)

I don't know why, but he was shocked that I felt that way. But he laughed again and added that he feels it's more polite to be called a drunk than to be called a madman.

When he put it that way though, it did kind of sound more reasonable. And honestly, it did make me laugh.

He reached out his hand and introduced himself as "Hugo Gibb." (Although I already knew what his name was.)

I shook his hand, told him my name, and said I was the one who moved in next door.

He smiled at me again. He did seem happy to meet me. I just kind of wish I had met him under better circumstances, if you know what I mean.

I realized he was probably wondering what the heck I was doing in his house. I'm sure he had no idea how I even got inside....though as out of it as he was, it might've not crossed his mind that some strange girl he'd never met suddenly showed up in his hallway just out of the blue like that.

I decided I should explain to him anyway, no matter what he was thinking. So I told him all about how I saw Eric on the edge of the roof and that I helped him back inside.

And Dad, when I finished the story, he had a very confused look on his face. He asked me why on earth would I ever do a thing like that?

It was so weird, Dad! He was looking at me like I was crazy and out of my mind for being worried about Eric on the roof.

So I started saying how I was afraid he could fall off and get hurt. I mean, isn't that a normal thing to do if you saw someone in danger like that?

I don't know what was going through Uncle Hugo's mind, but he started laughing at me! Seriously, he just laughed as if what I said was the funniest thing he'd ever heard!

As he continued laughing and acting crazier by the minute, he struggled to get back to his feet, teetering and swaying a bit, acting as if he was feeling super dizzy. And Dad, this man is TALL! I felt like I was a tiny ant compared to him when he was standing up in front of me.
















He kept on staggering while he walked around me, still laughing insanely. I had no idea what was going on, but he was really freaking me out!

It got even worse when he began asking me these stupid, ridiculous questions. Questions that went like, why would I be afraid Eric would fall? As well as other strange questions like, would it scare me if a balloon fell, or would I go into a panic if I saw a bubble dropping, or a feather fluttering to the ground?

He just laughed and laughed as if he thought I was out of my mind for caring about Eric's safety. But I knew this guy was really the one who was out of his mind. He already had way too many drinks today, that's for sure!

Anyway, I gave him a very strong, "No!" and told him I thought it would be extremely silly if I was afraid of those kinds of things.

Then, the very last words he said to me was, "Well there you go!" before he fell backwards to the floor and just passed out right in front of me.

Now THAT freaked me out! So much till I just took off running down the stairs and I burst out the front door! I didn't even want to look back!

Oh I was SO glad to be out of that house and back outside again! However, the moment I got outside, I composed myself and went to find where Mom, Louis, and Geneva were waiting for me. I really didn't want them to know I had talked to Eric's Uncle while he was in the condition he was in, as well as how he treated me. So when I found them around the corner, I tried to act like nothing unusual had just happened.

All three of them gathered around me all at once asking me if everything was okay, and if I knew why Eric was on the edge of his roof.

I just reassured them that everything was fine, and that I believed Eric would no longer go to that part of the roof anymore.

They all seemed satisfied with my answer and thankfully they didn't ask me any other questions. And we all went back to what we were doing before everything went crazy just a few minutes earlier.

And now it's been a few hours since all of that happened. Mom is just about ready to leave for her dinner meeting, and Geneva should be coming back any moment now. Also I need to go and make a call to get that pizza ordered so it'll be here and still be hot when Geneva returns. Louis is back inside and is already complaining that he's about to starve to death anyway. And I'm still feeling pretty hungry myself. So I'm going to go for awhile. I just wanted to take a little time to tell you about my wild adventures I had this afternoon while I had a few extra minutes of free time.

So I'll write again as soon as I can. With the way things are going right now, I wouldn't be surprised if my next letter to you is about another wild experience that will happen. It seems to be a normal thing for me ever since I moved in here, hasn't it Dad?

Hey Dad? I would love to send you a piece of pizza up to you in Heaven if I could. I know it was one of your favorite meals! Ha ha!

I love you, Daddy!! -

Milly

FOOTNOTES BY LYNN MCFALL:

(1) I thought it would be interesting to note that the only mention in the movie of Eric as a child was said only once - when Milly first told her Mom and Louis about how Eric's parents died when he was five-years old. While writing this story, I started wondering myself what Eric's life might have been like as a child growing up while living with his Uncle Hugo. So I got the idea of Eric not being able to fully understand what death is because he was so little at the time when the plane crash happened. I decided that when he got to be a little older is when he was able to understand that his parents had in fact been killed and they weren't going to come back home to him. Which also it gave me the idea of Eric's reactions to airplanes flying over his house to add as kind of a flashback of Eric's life as a child. Also, I'm fully aware that the photo I made of Eric as a child reaching for a plane is really lame. Ha ha! I know my photo-shopping skills are absolutely terrible...but I tried. :0)

(2) In the movie, Milly just happened to find a ladder laying right there in the yard nearby to where she was standing. Though it doesn't really matter too much, I felt like having Milly run down to her basement to find a ladder would sound a little more likely than having the ladder right there on the ground like it was already waiting for her to use as it showed in that scene in the movie. :0)

Credit to the first and last picture in this chapter belongs to "newsie_nympho" or "screencap_me" on livejournal.com.

If you want to get in contact with me for anything, E-mail Me: [email protected]

Author's Note

I didn't mean for this chapter to be this long, and I tried to edit it, but couldn't part with some of the ideas I had written. LOL!