the first time

a possible perspective from a victim of domestic violence

The first time it happened I swore it'd be the last time

But after 5 years your actions I'm struggling to define

Why do you hit me and cause me pain

Why do you call me anything but my name

I thought you loved me, thought you was sincere

So why don't you want any of my family and friends near

Why can't I wear make up or answer my phone

And why do you keep me locked up at home

I cook you dinner, I keep the house clean

But yet you still are so vicious and mean

You sort out my clothes so I don't have a choice

You've  scarred me so much I feel I don't have a voice

You say you don't mean it and that it won't happen again

But why in the first place do you cause me pain

I try to leave you yet you make me feel so weak

Always feeling like I've hit defeat

This is not what I'd bargained for in this relationship

How much more times will you give me a split lip

My eyes are blackened and my ribs are sore

Your anger starts the minute you enter the door

You say it's my fault yet I have to disagree

Please explain why you're doing this to me