As a new age dawns

It's about how play a part in changing the world,or changing a law like legalizing marijuana. How we can make a difference,and make the future a better place.How the end can be the beginning of a new revolution.

 

 

 

 

as a new age dawns

by Ivonne L.

 

 

 

a new age is dawning .It's flashing before our very eyes .As i sit here patiently enjoying my time .as I just swing life away.

hey i only got one life,I minus will live it up will i can.Follow my dreams see where they take me to.

who knows maybe one day I'll make the world a better place.As I just live my life peacefully.

kissing Mary Jane till the day i die ,cause she's my only girl.no men will over get between me,and Mary she's my only true Friend.There's just no way I'll love a man like the way i love Mary Jane.

Maybe one day Mary Jane,and I will change the world.By making other see what true meaning freedom really is  nothing left to lose .As we unite holding hands  living life in harmony.As peacefully as it could be. 

Show the world what the true meaning of love really means it's all just about living life free, and peacefully.Just like the way it should be.

without all these blue meanies in the street. who disturb our peace ,and raid our parties.They'll  come by when  your just chilling,and blazing it with your pals,then they take your a*s away to jail.All just for kissing Mary Jane.

how long must we stand for this bullshit. As a new age is dawning you better think twice.For this our chance to change history.For we are young,and strong.We have the power to make the future a better place for everyone.

Reviews

[Taylor H]

fix your spacing after every comma and period in these lines (and capitalize all i's)---

a new age is dawning .It's flashing before our very eyes .As i sit here patiently enjoying my time .as I just swing life away.
hey i only got one life,I minus will live it up will i can.Follow my dreams see where they


who knows maybe one day I'll make the world a better place.As I just live my life

kissing Mary Jane till the day i die ,cause she's my only girl.no men will over get between me,and Mary she's my only true Friend.There's just no way I'll love a man like the way i

Maybe one day Mary Jane,and I will change the world.By making other see what true

harmony.As peacefully as it could be.

free, and peacefully.Just like the way it should be.
without all these blue meanies in the street. who disturb our peace ,and raid our parties.They'll come by when your just chilling,and blazing it with your pals,then they take your a*s away to jail.All just for kissing Mary Jane.

twice.For this our chance to change history.For we are young,and strong.We have the

[Sasavet]

This is a nice idea, of changing the world for the better through rights, but it felt very scattered, and not poetic at all, it sounded more like an angry letter to someone. Dont' get me wrong, it's great to let things out that way, but I suggets proof-reading this to make it a bit more poetic and maybe without all the swears. But if that's your style ignore everything I just said and stick to your instincts XD

[Taylor H]

I think you need to smoke less weed Cause this poem was nothing but a broken record...and weed will never be legal....just saying

[Gandré]

Your idea is generous and wonderful, sadly we only can change the world when we are able to break their networks. Because everything is politics. I enjoyed your wonderful prosa poem, thanks for entering my contest. I hope Obama will make changes, he certainly is influencing also European politicians and finance gurus. This is a great time, everything is changing.

[Fran Marie]

Remind me of Bob Dylan's song Rainy Day Woman
"But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned"

you did a great job writing out your emotions a few spelling errors
like Minus will > should be might as well ~ will should be while~follow
my dreams where they take me ~ Drop the preposition >to< at the
end of the sentence~

I dont know if legalizing MaryJane would be sucha great idea~
Everyone would get stoned everyday kissing maryjane~
once in a while I guess is ok~ tho~ Great Write and THanks for sharing
in my DESTINY Contest~ Fran Marie

[Dan Bullock]

A bit confused by it all and you must check on spellings and stuff bud, I mean that with the greatest affection. I just don't see the connection between your description and the writing.

"I minus will live it up will i can" - baffled by that line!

I'm really not trying to be mean, just work work work on it because I've never want anyone in the whole world not to write! :)

[PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALI..]

A very wonderful poem straight from your and soul! The truth is keep writing, you will get better and you will make a difference! Benjamin Franklin once said : The greatest mistake a person can ever make in life when they see unjustice, is to stay quite and doing nothing at all!
We all as writers have been given the gift of speaking for those in fear and darkness, that for some reason they can not speak for themselves. We have a moral charge in life to speak up on war and injustice!
We must continue to take time in our busy lifes and address issues that everyone seems to want to avoid!
Yet it takes a very strong person to stand up and go against the tides of time and try to correct the so many ills of this world! You did today with your poem and you did a very good job doing so!
Keep writing from your soul for the good of all souls!
As like fine wine, you will get better as time goes by!
Always a friend,
TIM