My Standards are Simple and MINE.

My Standards are Simple and MINE.

A Story by miss_shanita
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Just a something I wrote about dating/ being single

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“Your standards are too high”.  If you’re  mid-30s, educated and single you probably hear this at family BBQ’s and any company gatherings that take place after three rounds of drinks have been purchased. I used to hear this all the time. Maybe the words are still being whispered by my family but I simply store them in the section of my brain typically reserved for the men who scream “yo ma what’s good”. Or, perhaps co-workers are still trying to insert their opinions, but when they finish speaking I mentally relegate them to the same category of grown folks who text like post spell check teens.  In either case the statement no longer holds enough weight for me to adjust my standards. One foreseeable divorce plus two meaningful but heartbreaking relationships equal new found strong convictions on what I require from a relationship. Although the unsolicited opinions regarding whom I choose to build with are no longer impactful enough for me to change my standards, I do at times re-examine them. Upon close examination this is what I conclude; based on the power that’s invested in me by the state of Shanita I hereby declare my standards……... SIMPLE and MINE.  No further approval needed.

                To the one dimensional person my standards or “type” may seem hard to understand. I won’t go around providing justification for my standards or seeking permission. Yet, for the curios I will provide situational examples. I want a man with extensions in his hair, bamboo earrings…at least two pairs. Nah I’m joking. But I’m an artist so I’m sensitive about my standards, so let me hit you with the real stuff. I want my potential mate and I to discuss some historical opposing views in black intellectualism and culture. Like, I want to know where he stands when it comes to the views of DuBois vs Garvey and what’s his opinion on the fact that Nas eithered Jay-Z, the lyrical battle between Jay and Nas. When we go to family game night and play Taboo and the question requires participants to name a deadly weapon that starts with the letter “S” and my cousin gives the winning answer by yelling SHANK, I need him to not be confused. When the games are over and he digs into his spaghetti and it’s kool-aid sweet, he has to just keep eating. Oh, and don’t judge me when I say it took me three days to read that latest piece by Michael Eric Dyson  and that I secretly watched the entire season of Empire.  Not sure if these standards are “too much or too little” for most. All I know is that they are mine.  Jay got it right when he said “I don’t want much, just a nice, smart dude cool enough to eat some hood food”. Wait…… I think that was me. In any event. Still simple standards. Still mine.

© 2015 miss_shanita


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Featured Review

yassssssss I love love love it! I wont lie, alot of it is because I can relate to it so much! I absolutely love the line about being able to discuss DuBois/Garvey's political views and NAS ethering Jay Z...because 1) its true (Nas all day) 2) it shows us her character without blatantly telling us. You instantly feel like she could be your homegirl or sister. She's very likeable

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

miss_shanita

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the review! You totally got it and I feel like we might be cousins :)



Reviews

I like your story. You know exactly what your looking for. I feel like my standards are high but hey. I know what I want. I'm going to go with Garvey simply because my young friend speaks on how great he is all the time. Jay-Z is my favorite rapper. I can relate more to what he raps about. If you like Empore you should watch Power. Much better show. Anyway I like that way you write.

Posted 4 Years Ago


yassssssss I love love love it! I wont lie, alot of it is because I can relate to it so much! I absolutely love the line about being able to discuss DuBois/Garvey's political views and NAS ethering Jay Z...because 1) its true (Nas all day) 2) it shows us her character without blatantly telling us. You instantly feel like she could be your homegirl or sister. She's very likeable

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

miss_shanita

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the review! You totally got it and I feel like we might be cousins :)
You have a very strong voice/style, which I really enjoyed. I particularly liked "When the games are over and he digs into his spaghetti and it’s kool-aid sweet, he has to just keep eating."

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

miss_shanita

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much! glad you enjoyed it....and glad to see that other folks get my silly humor ;)
This sums up a smart, secure woman who has been around long enough and learned enough to recognize her value and worth and won't just settle for sanything she can get. A very inspiring and confident piece of writing.

If you get the chance could you please review for me?

Posted 4 Years Ago


Yes indeed. These are true words. That carry weight and purpose. Thank you for sharing.

One, silly question, if you could indulge me...
What's the struck-out sentence say? Or mean?
Nas eithered Jay-Z? Or am I misreading that word eithered...?

Please ad some more writing, I'd love to read more of your heartfelt and honest words.

Posted 4 Years Ago


miss_shanita

4 Years Ago

lol....the struck-out sentence was my sarcastic take on a legendary battle in hip hop between Jay Z .. read more
miss_shanita

4 Years Ago

oh ...to answer the last part....the song that Nas wrote about Jay Z was called either
This is awesome, I would never lower my standards for anybody els.
And I would never settle for less either.
After all, there is only one of me in the world.
Excellent story.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 27, 2015
Last Updated on May 27, 2015