Abusive Arab

     My whole life I grew up listening to the opinions of others. Opinions are merely opinions and they are not based on fact. It is just like looking up information on a wiki, it is not factual. It is all based on fiction created by others. It is all based on creation. 

     Growing up in Idaho, I met a copious amount of people from Mexico. Mexicans are everywhere in Idaho. They are in school. They are at work. They are living next door. It is a wonder that I do not speak Spanish fluently. I can only say random things in Spanish and not all of it is appropriate. 

     The opinions I heard about them were really negative. I dated several Mexicans. Well, I can't say dated because they are just as notorious as American men for just keeping it as friends with benefits. What benefits? I don't know. 

     Anyway, I always had to listen to people say how dirty Mexicans are. They carry diseases? What makes American men immune from spreading disease when he is not using protection? 

     I also heard that Mexicans are violent. True, a majority of gang related violence was because of Mexicans, but not every single incident. When I lived next to a Mexican family, I had to listen to my father talk about how Mexican men have a temper and they beat their wife. Here we have Donald Trump saying how Mexicans bring violence and criminal activity to our country. 

     Hasn't violence been in America since day one? Yes. Is every person in prison or in gangs Mexican? No. 

     I never heard much about other cultures growing up. I never heard anything about men from Russia, Germany, Asia, or the Middle East. Up until 9/11, I heard nothing. After 9/11, the stories about Mexicans had transformed into Arabs. 

    The first year I was with Ahmed, my ignorant room mate who was a sociopath thought that she had an opinion in the matter. She was my "friend" after all. She was always telling me that he was ugly. She was always trying to convince me that Arab men mistreat women and beat them. "Don't believe me? Ask my dad," she tried ending the argument that way.

     Ahmed acted like a typical male, okay? The only difference is that he remained in contact. Other men would see other girls and completely forsake me. Ahmed never hit me. He would get verbally abusive by telling me in a subtle way that I was getting fat or smelled or I dressed like an old lady. So, I'm an American. Sue me. I ignored him and it was easy to ignore him because it really wasn't like him to be in your face and obnoxious. 

     American society is twisted. The society has been sick and twisted since the day we set foot on the soil of this continent. Today, instead of using our phones to call for help we film it. We are standing around watching people get beat up. We are standing around watching people die. 

     For example, there was a fire and it is surrounded by a group of cars. My cousin was there and he had his phone. Instead of using the phone to call the fire fighters, he was filming the fire. Everyone was filming the fire. 

     People are always trying to get their fifteen minutes of fame. People are always trying to get some type of negative story. If they are biased toward the police or Arabs, they are going to try to get some sort of footage to prove his or her ignorant point. 

     What about the footage of a police officer kicking a civilian? It was edited to omit the fact that the civilian was kicking the officer. Is it right to hit back? No, but this is the way we are raised in America. We are raised to hit back despite the fact that we can get a citation for assault and battery. Well, only if it is between a male and a female in a relationship.

     There was a video on Youtube that had an Arab couple who were in a store. The husband was screaming at her and beating the tar out of her. All I can think was that if I was there I would have intervened and possibly beat the living crap out of him. 

     You don't sit there and film something like that happening! What is wrong with you? Do you even realize how angry that would make me if everyone was filming me getting beat up by a police officer or boyfriend? Some Samaritan you are. I really don't care if you are trying to be a "witness" because I know what you really are doing is trying to get some views and likes online.

     When I was younger, we had an ad on the radio of a woman next door being beat up by a man. The message of the ad is that it is our business. It is our business to call the authorities because the person being beat up could potentially die from it. It is possible that we have that mentality of something terrible as not being something to intervene with. I would never allow it no matter what culture you are.  

     Karim from Are We Famous Now posted a video on Youtube that was showing the difference between a non-Muslim and Muslim woman being struck by her boyfriend. It kind of makes you think. There were some Muslims on the website making comments about how Karim is making Muslims look weak, but that is not what he is trying to do. He is basically trying to make a point about how Americans respond to women who wear a hijab. 

     You have to realize that people are racist in America. We have always been racist here. When a man wears a turban, someone believes that he is a terrorist. When a woman is wearing a hijab, she is a terrorist. Someone from the Middle East is automatically a Muslim even though he or she may be a Christian. ISIS didn’t kill every single Christian; a majority of them are fleeing for that very reason. People sincerely believe that a Hindu is going to be a terrorist, especially when it is a Sheikh carrying a traditional dagger. People sincerely believe that a woman who is completely covered has a bomb.

     It has absolutely nothing to do with modesty. Karim had another video where he had the woman walking down the streets of New York. First she was dressed "normal." Men were cat calling her. She then wore a hijab and nothing happened at all; they stared at her indifferently. They stared at her as though she was a terrorist. Someone actually had the gumption to comment that nobody was hitting on her because of her modesty. They are staring at her in hatred, sir.

     In the other video where the boyfriend was beating his girlfriend, we have the same thing going on. First, he was play slapping her and they were wearing "regular" clothing and speaking English. Two men intervened and jumped Karim. In the second part, she was wearing the hijab and they were arguing in Arabic and he was play slapping her. 

     Nobody intervened and most people stood there filming it with their camera phones. During the video, Karim seemed to question this. It is because there are people who hate Arabs and want to show their friends "how abusive Arab men" are. Somewhere in that crowd there is someone like my ignorant roommate trying to tell her friend why she should break up with her Arab boyfriend. Do they see bruises on their friend? No, they are just racist jerks. 

     It makes me wonder what the statistics are like because there are Americans who abuse their significant other. What makes any other race or country any different?

     "On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men” (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2015).

     The NCADV stated that domestic violence takes up 15% of violence in America; it does not seem like much, but it is something that we should not be tolerating. Most people are murdered and stalked by his or her significant other. Some of those cases are from immigrants, but it is not limited to them. "Domestic violence is not a singular incident, it's an insidious problem deeply rooted in our culture," (Vagianos, October 23, 2014). 

     Why would people limit domestic violence to Arabs and Mexicans? It is because they are racist. To me, I think it is possible that American society could very well be stuck on "traditional" relationships. 

     Once upon a time, interracial relationships were illegal. People would stop at nothing to make African Americans look as disgusting as possible. They seemed to be in fear of creating some deformed being. They used Darwinism as a reason to prevent white and black people from having a relationship together. I think it was due to the fact that Americans once considered Africans as cattle and treated them as such.

     We do not do that now, but the concept remains the same. It has come to the point where our sexual preference has plenty to do with race. This is where I see a race card being played as well.

    For instance, I love black people. I am just not attracted to them. Come on, African Americans, I love you and I wish I had your skin! It’s so beautiful and brown. I dislike mine because you can see every single blemish and I burn easier. I wish I had the same lush lips that you have. My favorite musicians are black. I like what blacks have to offer to the world. I believe that Africa is the soul of our planet; if it dies we go with it.

     I asked about interracial dating once in Yahoo answers. I explained how much I adore African Americans, but why is it such a big deal if I had no attraction to them? I was asking why people consider me racist if I did not have a sexual attraction to African Americans. People were offended, especially African Americans. Why? It was because I was "being racist?" For some reason this is one of the most complicated topics. 

     In a way, it is a way of mentally raping someone. Think about this, there was an African American man that I was hooked up with. It was okay, but I just did not have an attraction to him. There were times someone tried to hook me up with an African American man, but it just didn't seem appealing to me. It had nothing to do with hatred or indifference; just a lack of attraction. People get angry about this, but how come I have to feel obligated to date someone? I am being forced to be in a relationship I have no interest in being in. Let it be. If it means anything, I’m not attracted to blonds either.  

     I have dated Mexican men. They were just like American men. I was being used. I was being used as a revenge relationship. I was being used to cheat on a spouse. Again, they would get married to someone else. Nothing came out of any of these relationships.

     After I started dating Ahmed, I had the same experience. I found that I prefer Arab men. Why? I saw a report ridiculing reporters going back to Iraq. Why go back? It is because they are sweet people. It is because they are likable.  

     If I had any preference it would be an Arab. They are witty, sweet, and adorable. I have not had much luck with any other ethnicity. I adore them more than anyone to be quite honest. They are human beings just like the rest of us. If you see someone who is happy, who died and made you the judge of anything or anyone?

 

 

References:

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2015). Statistics. Retrieved from    http://www.ncadv.org/learn/statistics

Vagianos, A. (2014). 30 shocking domestic violance statistics that remind us it’s an epidemic.    Huffington Post. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html