Why can't I hate you?

After many ups and downs why can't we hate the person who once meant the whole world to you.

It all started with just being friends to I never like you more then a friend to suddenly best friends and simply falling for you with no such intentions of being madly in love and parting off....

You don't meet me daily and make me cripple to have a glimpse of you but why can't I hate you for not having your one glimpse over me?

You tell your friends that you love me but you never said me I love you but why can't  I hate you for not saying me those magical words?

We don't have long romantic calls unlike other couples but do have long conversations over messages yet why can't I hate you when I don't hear your voice?

When we have long walks over the beach and you feel shy to hold my hand making me feel miserable why can't I hate you when I want to hold you back?

You avoid me with your busy schedules repeatedly and end up with a sorry yet why can't I hate you when you avoid me?

Each time when I tell you that I hate you the most yet I can't mean it or dare to hate you why?

We have parted off long back with no hope of coming back to each other yet I am not able to forget you nor hate you why?

Your on my mind if I hate you and in my heart if I don't. Whats so special about you and us till now that I can't hate you?