Trapped

How I've been feeling these past few days

 I feel like I'm trapped in the past

A box that's suffocating me

I have no escape

No air

I'm barley breathing

My past snaked up on my present

I can't escape it so my future is struggling

Holding on to nothing

I keep pushing

Through the storms

The bad 

The good

Beaking trust with everyone I get close to

Cause trust is a foreign laguange I don't speak

 

I feel like this dark cloud follows me

Holding on to the secrets untold

Holding on to me

My only friend

The path I walk

Is broken and cracked

So I keep falling

I keep falling

Deeper and deeper underground

Where my voice will never be heard

May never be found

But it wasn't heard when I was around

So what's the difference

 

I feel confused with myself

Like I'm fighting 2 wars

But I'm losing both

I feel like right is left

And left is right

Up is down 

And down is up

So I cry

Tears falling like a waterfall

The pain escaping through my eye's

My body hold's the pain

But my eye's cry it out

My eye's crying

Crying tears just like bleeding blood

 

You may never know

Cause you only judge me

But look at yourself 

Before you question me

I may act a certain way

Cause I've been treated a certain way

Broken inside

Smiling outside

A mask with two faces

So I go either way

A fork in the road 

Of my emotions

So I satnd and let my emotions take over

My anger is bliss

My tears are happiness

But what is happiness

Happiness

Doesn't exist

 

A tainted past, that controls your present

Throws you're futue out the door

A nobody in the world

So I jump off a cliff

Now I'm famous

All on world news

But I'm six feet under can't enjoy it

Everyone knows my name

Everyone knows who I am

For a change I'm on the inside

All my life I've been on the outside

The outside

 Trying to get in

To get in from the cold

That bites me and wraps me up

To get away from the dangers that lurk around me

To find a friend to lean my head on

 

So locked up inside myself

I stay hidden

What shows isn't real

Cause if real exiseted

What is fake doing here

In world of plastics

I'm human

In a world of joy

I'm sad

Joy

Can it ever be defined

I smile thorugh the pain

Cause if not questions are asked

I can't confront them

So why not hide them

I know they're there

But you don't

And you won't

 

Just keep pushing like you always do

And I'll wait for a friend to pull me back

But if they never come, then enjoy

I can't fight a battle I've already lost

I can't win a battle I'll never win

So keep pushing

And pushing

And I'll keep waiting 

And waiting

Author's Note

This is a very heart felt poem and I think it's really good