Short Works (updates will be made)

Short Works (updates will be made)

A Story by midnight reaper
"

Do note that these poems/works could be incomplete or not fully worked out. More or less these works are just things I scribbled down and do not deserve a full post. Hope you enjoy.

"
Soldier, what have you seen? 
Soldier, where have you been?
Soldier, I know that stare
Soldier, it's ok
Soldier, I know

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Thoughts of loneliness and despair grow like cancer enclosing the mind in a tomb, pushing on the eyes as tears start to stream down. Always running from a beast that is untameable and a look only a soldier knows.

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The trees begin to shed their leaves matching my thoughts of baren sorrow. Not there at all just a shell. I wish I could explain but even my sorrows hide away from my light 

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Take your time as your run through the fields of your mind. Long forgotten by the outside Take your time no one will bother. Sick and tired of the mentality and views of the outside feel free to roam the fields again and again.

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Winter fades into spring letting the leaves grow back as the sun and moon rise and fall over the mountain ranges that shelter the fields which cow graze on and the houses which the farmers live in. A beautiful sight it is indeed.

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Ah, graduation is upon us now. Though it feels more like us, the slaves being passed on to another farm, another four years of "education that we so desire", a debt that will surely now loom over our minds and our pockets, and most of all the ever creeping sadness and stress that will surely consume at least some in the crowd in front of me. Some might have struggled to stay afloat while others skimmed through high school with ease. I hope to friends, foe, brothers, and sisters that the battle fought was not frugal and the years laid out in front of us will be ones that we remember and ones that will shape us in our society and the world

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It's been months since I've broken down. All of it pent up and bursting at the seems, hidden behind a smile and a laugh that might seem truly genuine. Am I the one who should be to blame? I wish I knew but all I know is that somehow no matter how it will always be my fault. Yet should I care? Who would notice anyway? For the ones who care are solemn and seemingly nothing is lost at even the most tragic of times, where the world is engulfed in flames. I still lose no one, even in these times, So should I care? What point would it be? So I ponder as my shadow comes from the depths of my mind to consume me whole again. Should I care?

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No relent, no retreat. 
Push it, push it. 
Damn it do you not see?
Work, work.
No relent, no retreat.
It seems as if I ran a thousand miles now yet I still can not rest.
Only thinking no relent, no retreat, push it, push it.
Damn it do you not see?

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Sadness overtakes. I can not focus for it consumes me. Truly this feeling can't be permanent. Yet how will I know for now I am deep in the tunnel and see no light.

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I see the sadness in your eyes and something heavy burdens you though I do not know what. Have I tired you so much? What is there to it? I really do not know

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The rain pours down on the lone figure. He's totally worthless, rapped in self-hate and pity. No future ahead just endless nights of crying and a gun in the mouth.

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So depressed nothing can cheer me up. God abandoned me and the rest don't want me. Why do I think these things, truly it can't be true. Just leave me alone.

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I'm shattered, just playing dumb, spending nights on suicidal binges, going nowhere in life

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Too lazy to even get up. Just don't feel it in me
In my eyes all you see is a melancholy glaze
In my eyes all you see is nothing
Sitting here and thinking, contemplating if it's worth the effort to even breathe
Why can't I hide from this
Why is it me
Why is it me who rambles
Just too lazy

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There is no breath, no surrender.
Push till you can't, drop dead in the morning.
Drives me mad.
Drives me mad.
Drives me mad.
But then I remember, no breath, no surrender.
Push till you can't, drop dead in the morning.

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happy again but for how long? It seems to last just enough to tease.

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wearing a brown bag over their faces they screamed the needs of the mass of people behind them. They never wanted attention just wanted it to be done. The photos that were taken empower more and more and slowly the mass of people grows. The scream was deafening. The people's voice was not be changed and was not be silenced and so soon it was done

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affixed on a lone bench. Thinking of all the meaning all it could be but my mind is still empty just as the bench.

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Yet it sounds like the ramblings of a delusion man grasping for straws as his sanity spirals down the rabbit hole and he loses all grip on reality not knowing what is real or fake he crawls into a corner violently shaking, praying for it to all end and let mercy be at hand as he takes his last breath, unknown unheard just another delusion man

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Success to me is eating a*s and smoking grass cause when your president is an orange and your country is falling apart there is nothing better to do

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Everything seems forced, pushed by a smoldering branding iron to the edge. Let us develop the way we choose. Do not control us

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Covered in shadow it conceals its identity 
never can you see its true shape even if you pry hard you still wouldn't see through its veil 
The only thing possible is to assume and marvel at what is behind that veil

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Slit my wrists
Let them drip
Try not to wake up
Die young, feel no pain
I don't want to live
Slit my wrists
Let them drip
I don't want to live

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We live to free ourselves but in turn entrap ourselves

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attached, hooked, afraid of ourselves, can't let us be free

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words are just the walls of the cell

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free me of this cage I am but a child

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everything has a beauty to it even of the simplest things it's just us and our state of mind that affect it

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emotion flips with no sense of direction. You think you are maturing but you are immature

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A mind in control enough to where truly these thoughts and emotions don't come with razor sharp claws

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Soldiers fight for what they do not know
roaring guns, falling bombs, fill the air with despair
Look to the sky before you die, it's the last time you will
Do not see, do not hear, there is no will to be
Soldiers fight for what they do not know
On a hill, deep entrenched, they still fight on
Grim is their fate, vicious is their moto
There is no goal, there is no light, just fight on to the very last

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Music, a catalyst that lets me tap into the searing pain beneath the surface. The times I snap, the times I cry all come out with the right sound, like luring a fish to go for the bait. The depression shows more the madness hits harder and all isn't right. Breaking down is the only way to deal with it, Memories flood, words spill, god is it me who has these things. Why do I do this, this self harm. Have mercy on me I am only a mortal. My fragile mind can only take so much and this blood letting does no good yet feels so right. Just help me please, just save me from this hell, delusion and madness only waits for me. 

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Flip the page, the thought
I can't feel, I can't see
But the knowledge guides me
Thoughts ever changing

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Always look to the skies dazzled but yet amused of how ugly the future is but oh how pretty it is

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The flame burns me and tantalizes me with every ember

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burn away yesterday, today is today

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Rich boy trying to throw dirt on the machine with his complaints and his problems not realizing the ones who truly suffer
Rich boy trying to feel poor and pay what he has earned to the fire
Give himself no comfort and tries to fall into the dirt and mud beneath his shoes. 
But even he knows the cushion he has under him

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Everyone should live life in comfort and the way they want it to be no standards, no walls, just people

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I hate how I treat my mother and brother and I wish I could be better but everyone has their delusions and only thing I knew was to never give up without a fight and to have someone close. Don't give up till the last man, yet never be alone, never alone in the darkness.

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You shield yourself with distance only to burst at the seems
You cloak it with openness and willing to help 
Yet inside your feeble and weak, pathetic
You fear your mind
The nightmares we can give, The reason why you cry
We are what you fear

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You release the pressure built inside of your already fragile mind
You brave a dangerous path but you know how to trek it

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Still here 
Still breathing
You use it as a tool, to probe deeper and deeper

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Trapped in the storm clouds 

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Without him in life I can restore and connect and blossom like I couldn't 

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War is stupid and no matter how much hatred is directed all can be resolved with hugs and friendship

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Silence is madness

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Fever dream came to me, as it should
Me and you are not the same
Don't you see I burned it all away 
me and you are not the same
Fever dream came  to me, so real
Can't you see
You aren't real
Fever dream came to me, can't escape
Now I burned it all away

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scream into the void 
hear the echo
mind torn
Hope gone
Close my eyes and suffocate
don't wanna live 
I know my worth 
Deep inside the hearth is cold 

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Rape me 
Rape me of feeling 
Then beat me
Then touch me
Now I Take pills
To make it go away

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Open note
Open road
Take you out
Till the sun
comes out bright
And you know
I'm the one
So lets go
Set on repeat

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Popping pills to make demons go away
Drink till I can't so I forgot

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I'm just special needs with no feelings
Can't tell masturbation from sadness, it's all the same
Can't tell pain from pleasure 
I'm just lost 
Can't tell anything anymore
Can't tell where the darkness in this tunnel ends
I'm just special needs with no feeling
Feeling of reality 
Reality lost its meaning in the void I float in
I'm just lost 
Lost any hope
Hope to gain feeling
I'm just special needs

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You’ve been chasing the same thing and you don’t know what you’re after

Oh, you dirty w***e I know your crimes

Do you really think you can run away?

10th time you lied to me, you know this hurts

I understand it’s not my problem but I’m still trying to be there.

How can you discard humans like trash in a dumpster?

In the end you will be alone thinking about what you were chasing but it won’t come to mind

 

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I don't want to live
What a waste
waste that is me
I can't be motivated
Motivated enough to move 
All the wasted potential
All the things I could've done
What's the point, better die before I loose it
I don't want to live 
What a waste I am

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There's a voice 
Telling me what to write
Telling me what to think
There's a voice
Controlling my hands
Controlling my emotions
There's a voice
Am I free?
Whisper to me

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The sadness I push to the surface
Let it boil 
Let me climax
Repeat till nothing left

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Suicide pills
Suicide doors
Come on take me
Come on open me
You already chose
Come on
Come on
I know you can't wait

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Oh foolish god am I the one?
Oh foolish god what have you brought
Is it my demand or the consequence 
Oh foolish god can't you see?
Oh foolish god am I the one?

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I lost my flame. I've given up. No need to be neat, what's the point. Let it flow out onto the bandages rapping my palms. I cry but what's the point. I lost my flame.

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Being sober is becoming harder and harder every day. I see my friends falling into the same pit, just can't be staying sober. I have grown old already, so fast now I just let it eat away waiting for the next outburst, for the next binge. For now I'm too lazy to get up. Guess this feels good.

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© 2019 midnight reaper


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Added on January 29, 2018
Last Updated on June 20, 2019