Humble and Strong

Humble and Strong

A Poem by Kimberly "Melody" Carney
"

Dedicated to my humble angle, Paul.

"

A lesser man had come to me,

 asking for my hand.

He boasted of his accomplishments,

they were quite grand.

He would buy me treasures,

 I could never resist.

He would give my children,

anything they wished.

 

When I cried at night,

he just walk away.

Unable to deal the emotions

 or even try and stay.

My children would ask

 for a simple game of ball.

He didn’t have time,

 he was quite busy after all.

 

You came along,

 such a humble man,

 yet strong.

Honest with your time,

admitting when wrong.

The children asked,

 of presents and clothes.

But, what you gave them

wasn’t any of those.

 

You spent your time,

 getting to know each of us.

Building a friendship

and gaining our trust.

When I cried,

you held and comforted me.

As gentle and loving

as any could possibly be.

 

A lesser of a man,

would've never took the time.

He would take me,

 claim me,

 like a trophy to shine.

You’re the greatest

and strongest

man of them all.

A humbled angel,

surley from heaven.

      .

        .

           .

               you did fall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2012 Kimberly "Melody" Carney


Author's Note

Kimberly "Melody" Carney
They say, "Behind every good man is a great woman"... I must say...behind every woman with a pure soul is a trail of pain, hurt and then the remnants of each burden she slowly let go of dropping them one by one in order to grasp with both hands the things that really mattered.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

"behind every woman with a pure soul is a trail of pain, hurt and then the remnants of each burden she slowly let go of dropping them one by one in order to grasp with both hands the things that really mattered."

author's note - more apt than the piece in some ways! beauty.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kimberly "Melody" Carney

12 Years Ago

LOL...I hear that more often than not!
It's just how I speak I guess...;) Thank you.
sienikeha

12 Years Ago

:)



Reviews

"behind every woman with a pure soul is a trail of pain, hurt and then the remnants of each burden she slowly let go of dropping them one by one in order to grasp with both hands the things that really mattered."

author's note - more apt than the piece in some ways! beauty.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kimberly "Melody" Carney

12 Years Ago

LOL...I hear that more often than not!
It's just how I speak I guess...;) Thank you.
sienikeha

12 Years Ago

:)
Such a lovely sentiment. As a single father with full custody of my two young daughters, I know how difficult it can be to find someone who is willing to take on the "package deal". I can only hope one day I can find that special person who will not only accept me as I am, but be able to surmount the rigors of family life with grace as well...

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kimberly "Melody" Carney

12 Years Ago

Pauls’ curse was the inability to have children, but the deep desire to be a father. Mine was my .. read more
Wow... the raw undying love between you and Paul must be magnificent. I'm happy for you, Melody. I'm glad you found a better man. Congrats.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kimberly "Melody" Carney

12 Years Ago

I must say, I let go and became a better me...and that was what drew him to me
A. V. Madison

12 Years Ago

That's always a goodthing, sweetheart. Take care.

Love From California,
~M
I love the very last line! I'm glad you found someone who cared for you.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

beautiful. the song goes very well with the poem. i love the concept of the write!! Keep it up!!! :) :P :D

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lovely and I feel almost like I am able to relate.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very lovely and sentimental. I do love a great ending. A couple of nits:

1. Space after comma on 2nd line
2. Space after comma on 4th line
3. In 3rd stanza, consider changing "humbled," to "humble"
4. In last line, change "angle" to "angel"
5. In last line, consider changing "surley," to "softly" or the like
6. In last line, I would not reuse "humbled," consider "an amorous angel" or something like it
7. Overall, consider invoking syllable structure with all lines using the same number of syllables - helps smooth out the flow

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


Lovely sentiment and your song choice completes the beauty of your poem's thoughts about what is really important between people. Nicely done,

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This reminds me of my husband. He is such a great man to raise a child of his own plus a child that isn't his. A true man takes care of his family in more ways then one. Great write.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is so sweet! I love it!
A couple notes...
1. Line 4 delete period after comma
2. Line 17 your tenses are confused. It should be either "A lesser man, would never take the time" or "A lesser man, never took the time"

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe

Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Stats

735 Views
11 Reviews
Added on July 8, 2012
Last Updated on August 23, 2012
Tags: Adventure, Confusion, shame, pain, healing, Love, health, ageing, grace, life, abuse, poetry, wisdom, knowledge, nature, understanding, family, purity, soul, unity, equality, surviving, domestic

Author

Kimberly "Melody" Carney
Kimberly "Melody" Carney

Denver, CO



About
To really truly believe in your dreams and make them come true… you must not first believe in yourself, but be prepared to prove your doubts and fears wrong. To know giving up is not an easy .. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Roses Roses

A Poem by Melody


Drowning Drowning

A Poem by Tai Ryens


Betrayal Betrayal

A Poem by Tai Ryens