I Think I'll Be ------ Today!

I Think I'll Be ------ Today!

A Story by Michael Stevens

Deciding which face to show the world today!


     A comment received today got me to thinking (quite the trick!) about the many-headed monster that resides in my brain.  What is it that decides what face I'll show the world, what mask I'll wear?  Is it random, or do I decide?  One day it's comedy, and the next I'm comedically-challenged, seeing absolutely nothing remotely funny about anything!  Oh sure, I'll tell myself to lighten up, but some days it's quite impossible, and on those days I'll wonder if I'll ever laugh again; on other days hyena's and me have a lot in common!  People will read something I've written, expecting Charlie Chaplin, and getting Charles Manson (okay, that's an exaggeration; but I do wonder about my sanity sometimes; no, not really!)  It's a daily war in my head, a battle for supremacy if you will: 




     "This is your ring side announcer, Crocked-Nose Webber; in this corner, weighing in at 736 pounds, The Downer From Depression City, wearing black trunks, Non-Smiling Mike!  In the other corner weighing in at 178 pounds, The Laughing Hyena From Ya Shoulda Seena, wearing no trunks, The Grinning Fool Stevens!"




     "This is J.W. Flapper your radio announcer, ring side, bringing you all the punch-by-punch action, sponsored by Binge Beer:


     'Binge Beer; Sure, It's Not The Best, But After A Few of These Babies, You'll be Well on Your Way to Crock City!'


     Tonight's fight features perhaps the greatest mismatch, at least on paper, in the history of the sport.  Non-Smiling Mike has to be considered the overwhelming favorite, weighing in at a whopping 736 pounds, while The Grinning Fool Stevens is scrappy, I'll give him that, although is 'scrappy' enough to deflect the crushing blows soon to be unleashed by a very mean, heavy Non-Smiling?  We shall see; both fighters will now touch gloves in a display of sportsmanshi--what?  Non-Smiling Mike just sucker-punched Grinning Fool Stevens.  Stevens is down!  Surely (don't call me Shirley!) this is against the rules, but amazingly, the referee has started his count.


     "One, Two,"


     If he's not up standing by the count of ten, this fight is over. 


     "...., Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Te--"  Hold on ladies and gentleman, Grinning Fool Stevens is up, and not only is he up, but he's laughing!  He's openly taunting Non-Smiling Mike; oh, oh, this is a dangerous strategy.  Non-Smiling is famous for having a nasty temper.  Yes, becoming enraged effects his thinking, but he more than makes up for it by unleashing ranks in a virtual rank-a-thon blizzard of fury.  Yes, Grinning Fool will have to bob and weave something fierce from here on out!  Okay, both fighters, having retreated to a neutral corner, are headed out once again to resume the battle.  Non-Smiling Mike is screaming insults at Grinning Fool Stevens, who seems to be laughing at Non-Smiling, and now both fighters throw a roundhouse right, and......'

© 2014 Michael Stevens

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I'm going to assume these two worthy opponents knocked each other out.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Michael Stevens

7 Years Ago

Well, all will be revealed in my next story is all I can say!

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Added on May 26, 2014
Last Updated on May 26, 2014
Tags: moods, battle


Michael Stevens
Michael Stevens

I write for fun; I write comedy pieces and some dramatic stuff. I have no formal writing education, and I have a fear of being told I suck, and maybe I should give up on writing, and get a job makin.. more..