"He shall cry to me, and I will hear him: I am with him in tribulation, I will deliver him, and I will glorify him."
Great work! I really like this piece. When in love it seems that we do worship with our affection. I think you have described the ultimate pedestal here. Nice work indeed.
RLG,
Tommy
This is a little...er...Latin! I don't think it is wise to make Gods out of people, but I do love this poem. It is such an intelligent write and contains your heart and soul and that shines into your readers minds. It is the worshiping of the one you love that is paramount here and we all tend to do that, if we can preserve a smidgen of those feelings to ponder on in old age then we have done well...
Love you & miss you xxxoooxxx
Well, I'm glad Tommy cleared up the last line cuz my Latin is horrible lol This is a very sensual poem, especially the awaiting on knees part for...ummm...salvation lol this has naughtiness only a Catholic can appreciate lol parts I didn't like - the comma after "i look to you," - I know that this piece isn't punctuated by accepted standards, but that comma actually made me stumble a bit. U should also omit the line that is in parenthesis for the same reason. Other than those small details, I like how the last word is a continuing action "needing" and as such, maybe you should move the Latin to the beginning to emphasize it more.
Ha! Amber so in wonderment you are and it is lovely to see you so alive with these feelings. I wonder if this butterfly series will condense into one untouchable love poem for people to gawk at and envy and say blimey, she's a bloomin good poet that Amber.
Hmmm, I don't understand the connection between the Latin Vulgate passage and the poem. But then, I'm not Catholic either. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to worship me and I've found that placing anyone on a pedestal is just a great spot for them to fall on you and break your head if not your heart. But I do know the difference between boys and men; men know that love is hard work, sacrifice and responsibility while boys just want to play and have fun.
Wow. Great poem. Beautifully written. And thanks to the reviewer before myself, Tommy, for the translation of that last line.
The whole poem is wonderful... Elegant. Sensual. Graceful. Full of desire and beauty. I like it ;)
My absolute favorite part in the poem is within the very first stanza...
" ...your desire
shimmers underneath a boyish grin,
innocent freckles begging to tell
the difference of boy and man"
That is so descriptive and crafted beautifully. I love the ache of his desire behind that boyish grin... I know that grin. I've seen it and I've made it myself. It's incredibly erotic. I like that part very much... Very sensual. I can't stress the sensuality in this piece enough. It's great!
"He shall cry to me, and I will hear him: I am with him in tribulation, I will deliver him, and I will glorify him."
Great work! I really like this piece. When in love it seems that we do worship with our affection. I think you have described the ultimate pedestal here. Nice work indeed.
RLG,
Tommy
My name is Amber....my friends call me.....Amber, GA
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"God made my body and if it is dirty, then the imperfection lies with the Manufacturer, not the product. Do not remove this tag under the penalty of the law." ~ Lenny Bruce
"I don't care to belong .. more..