Text Message

It was the way you swiped the text message away

As if you didn’t want me to see

Like it was a secret

Sent red warnings down my spine

Triggered something deeply wounded in me

Woke up this green beast of mistrust

Nothing you have done or said warrants this

You have given me no reason to question you

But my past has

Former lovers whose intentions were untrue

Keep me guarded

Making it difficult to fully trust and let go

I have always been independent

Steady on my feet

But today… Is different

Now with a baby growing slowly in my belly

My future feels uncertain

Unknown

Uneven footsteps

As I walk a new path. 

I said to you once while you

Held me in my kitchen

Please don’t hurt me

I remember my eyes welling with tears

As I begged this of you

Please don’t hurt me

I promise to never wound you

Intentionally

I will safeguard your heart 

As if my own

I needed you to know

That simple movement

Shook me

I am aware my emotions are unstable

Running rampant with imagined events

I am learning to let go

That those issues are mine alone

They have nothing to do with you

But I guess I needed you to know

I am learning to forget my past injury's

And trust you fully

with everything in me.