Dying Without You

I walked away from you

Dropped everything we had

And now I am crouched

On my knees

Weeping your name into my empty hands

I dream of your face at night

Wishing I had you back

I want you to be my own

No more games

Just me and you

But I walked away from you

Now it’s too late for all of that

So alone I cry

Trying to forget you

Attempting to move on

 Dreaming of being happy

Only crying myself to sleep

Almost dying without you.


~MP

 

 

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

A well executed poem immersed in angst is difficult to read because it drags the reader in and to their dark places that they thought that they'd long since left. This poem has that quality. My only teensy niggle would be ... I would add a smidge more punctuation. You see since you wrote it, you hear it in your head as you know it should be; with all of the appropriate stops and pauses (line breaks do not necessarily indicate pauses or stops in poems). We readers don't know how it is supposed to sound though. We are at a disadvantage because we didn't write it. The punctuation acts as instructions on how to read it for us.

[Big ol' Kahuna]

I liked the powerful emotion entwined in this poem. You really put yourself out there into it. The images and portrayal of emotion was well executed. Thank God things always get better, and they do.
Nice job.

[William]

the only thing i didn't like about this poem is that i thought it was a bit too spaced out, and that maybe if the lines were next to each other, it would be easier to read and understand. besides that, i really liked it. :]

[Kerwin]

sounds very, very sad......but dont give up!!

[dear sydney;]

we write about some of the same things accordingly to this poem.
i truly enjoyed the read.
~sydney