My Perfect Paradise

My Perfect Paradise

A Poem by Tara♥Undefined♥

Waves ripping at the shoreline,

the feel of sand between toes,

fingers intertwining

and lips touching gently,

This is the purest of loves

the sweetest of dreams,

something that over time no one has yet to reach,

but if we try to reach this place of sweet and gentleness,

We have to be pure of heart and

wanting, for each other, bliss.

Deep as the sea as the eagles fly by,

flames of the bonfire licking at skin,

sweet smiles,

gentle kisses,

everlasting, calming breezes

all under the fold in your mind,

you can live there with someone,

someone who only cares for you,

who only you care for,

and hide away in your perfect place

forever,

and never lose you happiness again.

© 2010 Tara♥Undefined♥


Author's Note

Tara♥Undefined♥
Plz review. Be honest. If you see problems plz tell me. Im open for critisism

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Reviews

very interesting savy dur butt i think the color of the words could've been blue or a more soothing color
ily

Posted 13 Years Ago




I loved the imagery and it gave me a clear picture in my mind. Awesome job!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


Nice metaphor. : )

Posted 13 Years Ago


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I really like the ink you have created when you incorperate the waves and the sea. It seems that place hold alot of positive emotions for you and it shoes in the smooth flow and beautiful imagery that comes out of the tapestry of your words!

Great Ink!
*Hugs!* - Tara M Stone

Posted 14 Years Ago


This in my opinion is great, it warmed my skin as i read it. Even though I am very cold here. I loved it!

Posted 14 Years Ago


awesome and i love it

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i loved it savy it was awesome

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The flow of this poem is easy to follow and the imagery is well portrayed within this poem.

Posted 14 Years Ago


honestly it wasnt so intentional but I read over and i see what you mean! thanks for reviewing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I really like this. There were occasional places where it didnt flow quite right but that almost worked because it made me pause slightly and think more deeply about what I was reading so I'm thinking perhaps that was intentional.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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579 Views
11 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 12, 2010
Last Updated on April 12, 2010

Author

Tara♥Undefined♥
Tara♥Undefined♥

canton, OH



About
I am Savannah! Heello!!!^^ I love writing(obviously) I love to sing and dance and stuff. I like the rainy days better than sunny ones and Im crazy too. Well, Idk wat else to tell you.. more..

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