Behind Bars

Behind Bars

A Poem by moog-drika

.

Death boozed afterlife, too slowly.

Turning up the volume,

it relished the scream of Vices.

They were detained for yielding ruins.


By the time Death had a hangover,

the Vices had strained off their existence,

performed their ablution

with the lightest second of oblivion.

 

The refiner’s work was done,

making its lip grin again.

© 2020 moog-drika


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

this poem reminds me
of an old movie
" The Lost Weekend "
about an alcoholic
while on a binge
kills..

They find their escape
In the bottom of a bottle
or so they think ..only
to find they're really Behind
Bars of their own making
An apt title for this piece

it's a one way ticket to
hell's prison where the
devil has in reality won ..

nice work





Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
moog-drika

3 Years Ago

if it were actually possible to kill the crime rather than killing people. Sigh.
Thank you so.. read more
Rusteangi Ruba

2 Years Ago

Exactly the poem had classic story touch...it's amzing pal



Reviews

A complete tale in your words my friend.
"The refiner’s work was done,
making its lip grin again"
I loved the above the lines. A grin, maybe finally content? Thank you for a amazing poem shared.
Coyote

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

Could be content but don't know for how long. Thank you so much for the compliment. Means a lot. :D
Coyote Poetry

3 Years Ago

Always my pleasure to read your work and you are welcome my friend.
moog-drika

3 Years Ago

Likewise my friend. :D
This is a wonderful write here, enjoyable

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the compliment. Means a lot!
This reads like a fantastic epitaph.
He died just as lockdown was introduced, luckily the booze had done its job and he died unsober. The grim reaper was back in work but this time booze wasn't the culprit.

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

I so want the grim reaper to kill all the Vices for real. The world would look so pure. Anyway, than.. read more
A haunting read, beautifully done. Reminds me of the late Elliot Smith song Between the Bars.

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

That song is a poem itself. It has so many emotions. Anyway, thanks so much for the compliment. It m.. read more
likesgreeneggsandham

3 Years Ago

I had a feeling you would know it. Your poetry evoked a lot of the same emotion in me. Once again, l.. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Lox
From what I understand, Death when drunk is dying of sins and its hangover is when those who died repent?

So death is both the punisher and refiner?

May I suggest adding lines between the first and second stanza? Kindly explain the process of how Death boozed on the afterlife and how the vices are detained for yielding ruins.

I mean, I think you need to elaborate the drinking process. That is the purpose why we drink alcohol, to forget our woes and current thinking with a story born from a drunken haze. That's a story that could well fit in your poem @moog-drika

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

Well, I made it vague intentionally so you can create your own story from the piece. I usually do th.. read more
Lox

3 Years Ago

I see I see, I just thought that's why you wrote, "A rough write. Something is still not right, i do.. read more
moog-drika

3 Years Ago

Ohh yaas! I might make a little bit more changes, but without losing the mystery vibe, you know :D <.. read more
feels like an individual chained to their vices, to their ultimate demise

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

still waiting for it to actually happen. But death is drunk. haha. thanks so much :D
I can't come up with anything to say that's equal to this poem. I will wig out & refer to Rob's (bunny) most toe-tweaking explanation, along with the observation that you paint an extended metaphor using great double-meaning terminology, much in the same way that our master Jacob does it! You should be proud! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

Although not behind bars, but behind room is giving me enough time to think about several stuffs tha.. read more
alcohol as the tool of the oppressor is what im gleaning from this... So many drink for reasons myriad to stave from the hollowness of circumstance to the self medication of mental illness and of course some just have the genetic predisposition to alcoholism. so i am getting this dual meaning of behind bars to be imprisonment and literally behind a bar or tavern both can be a form of restraint one passive the other direct having been a patron of both of these bars I can say the parallels do resound to me LOL justice is a perspective and it has no true definition anymore it is as fluid as a glass of wine these days my dear Mughdah Moog Drika with my favorite assonant name

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

I had to read the interpretation again and again to understand the whole scenario you explained here.. read more
Robert Trakofler

3 Years Ago

yes it is a splendid name for a splendid heart
I enjoy the personification of vices. I'd suggest capitalizing the word to underline that they are an entity rather than a category of the authors actions. Its a battlefield poem. Lovely.

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much for highlighting that. Done modifying the word to show what I really wanted to sho.. read more
and justice for all if that`s possible in our society

Posted 3 Years Ago


moog-drika

3 Years Ago

Nope. It's possible in other worlds but never in our society. Thanks so much.

2
next Next Page
last Last Page
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

317 Views
21 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 3, 2020
Last Updated on June 13, 2020

Author

moog-drika
moog-drika

About
Hey this is Mugdha, a thought poker, a life giver of words. I'm mostly into dark poetry and have a great appetite for reviving inanimate souls. I think they love me for this gesture but that's my pa.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Just Quietness Just Quietness

A Poem by .


Echoes of You Echoes of You

A Poem by Relic