The Final Meltdown

When the world seemed to be crashing down around me ..

It’s time now

The premonition begins to haunt

The nights drag on

No one’s sure what they want

 

The storm will descend

The clouds all grey

The omens turn black

The smiles have given way

 

To the warriors of grim

They’re arriving for the holocaust

They’ll drag you out

Curse you sweetest dream

 

Run away before it hits

Call all forces, the holy are dead

No love prevails, no soul to care

Don’t even try a fight back

Don’t act out of your wits

 

The razor blades

The black rose’s thorns

The hooded warriors

The sword that slays

 

Your worst nightmare

Your heart’s shrillest cry

Satan’s purgatory

This final meltdown, turns it all wry

 

You bleed within

No bruises to show

Your SOS unheard

You seek your foe

 

Horror strikes your crystal eyes

Your frantic breath

Your exhausted attempts

To escape the inevitable

Nothing survives ...

 

You recall a word

A dim shimmer

Like the thought of flight, for a wingless bird

That slient promise

But, grows even dimmer

 

You didn’t ask for this

And no, you don’t deserve it

But somehow, you knew you had it coming

That it’d all fall apart bit by bit

 

Fair or not

Fate happens

Destiny strikes

No one to judge

Your call for justice,  completely futile

 

You surrender

That’s all you can do

It’s the least painful

Or is it? ...you wonder

 

The storm has struck

The tumult over

It’s all been hushed...not even a whisper

 

You feel the after-storm

The ghoulish draft

The deadly chills

The scare of soltitude

The warlock trills

 

You are dead

Your body sways

Your soul’s been shread

 

The air’s turned eerie

No one around

All that claimed love

Seems to have been lost...all tangled and wound

 

You depart now

Nothing to hold onto

That broken vow

That sinful wrath

 

That ruthless swindler

No one’s being blamed

No one’s left

My lost hope, you won’t be defamed

 

A final goodbye

To all you bid

To all you love

And from all you hid ...

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

Here we go again. I feel like a broken record. Almost all of your poems can be summed up with four phrases:

- Great imagery
- Extensive vocabulary
- Powerful emotion
- Disastrous rhyme/rhythm scheme

I don't know what more I can say about your work that I haven't already said. This poem hits every item on that list square on the head. The first three are good; you really should work on the last one.

[deeps]

The razor blades
The black rose’s thorns
The hooded warriors
The sword that slays

Ah I love these words here.
This is amazing and quite the remarkable write.
WOnderful flow as well.

[Mr. Revan]

"You didn't ask for this
And no, you don't deserve it
But somehow, you knew you had it coming
That it'd all fall apart bit by bit"

inevitability is something that we've yet to combat. and in the final end we all see our fate in its entirety.
i see it like something on the horizon, that which comes upon you before you expect it. then the end is at hand.

[Simone]

Well, I read this and I'm very glad that i did. It's brilliant. Great use of immagry, format and emotion. I love this line in particular-
"You are dead
Your body sways
Your soul's been shread"
That's deep.
Great work and I look forward to reading more of your work.