Suicidal Musings

"Just how i think a suicidal mind works"

 

Closed in to an unknown fear

Reconciliation denied

A chronic ailment

Masochism defined

 

A slit open wrist

That haunting noose

A killer shot

Some over-the-counter pills let loose

 

Death is what is needed

But that's not all

It's not just a peaceful slumber being demanded

A slow torture... A neverending innate brawl

 

All senses tranquilised

All logic lost

That last ray of reason

Nothing..No turning back..at any cost

 

The end that's planned

And the following afterlife

Where heaven's out of question

And hell shall quiver

At this horror struck strife

 

These suicidal musings

These unsung cusses

Call on lethality

In a world unvisited

 

A parallel universe

Catering to grim-sical aspirations

A whim of its own sorts

A world where the pain..self-inflicted ..

Would make you sneer

 

The sight of your blood..Wasted and spilt

Brings on that morose smile

While you lay in terror's quilt...

Terror from that insane satisfaction

 

These suicidal musings

That shivering will

Replaced by obsession

A compulsion to kill..

 

Reviews

[.]

imagery enough for three poems...strong write with a few missed rhymes, which gives the read a little stutter, since you have several stanzas that do

[The Perfectionist]

*Flips through phone book* How can there be no number for 'men in white coats' ?

In all seriousness, this is your standard poem. Very strong language, excellent imagery, plagued by a vague-at-best understanding of how a rhyme scheme should work. I'm repeating myself, but rhyme goes hand-in-hand with rhythm. You need both to make it work.

Oh, and just for the record, I know this is a nitpick, but you're aware that masochism isn't just the enjoyment of being hurt, right? It's specifically sexual arousal (or even dependence) on pain. There's a very big difference between people that cut for release and people that cut for pleasure. Just saying.

[deeps]

This is quite the dark write here. I like it though. I like dark writes.
I think that this piece is quite amazing. very well written and has a wonderful flow to it.

[Mr. Revan]

you truly capture the feeling of suicide, the, displeasure of it being almost absent by your description. this poem is just, well it hits home on some aspects, but everyone's experiences and reasons are different.

i cannot speak for what is beyond our lives for, i truly dont know. the "afterlife" thoughts placed by religion, i just think are man made. i think that a suicidal mind works to escape the factors of life, from the most emotional, such as a lost love, to the simple act of breathing-- whom some consider annoying. there is no one reason why suicide becomes a possibility, nor is there a limit to the ways to commit it. but what you've written here captures the fear, and the uncertainty, behind one of man's get out of life cards.

5 star piece

[Sophie]

I really liked your poem, it's touching. And it's truly an insight into the suicidal mind.
Keep up the good work :]