“I’m Sorry. I Was Wrong. Please Forgive Me.”

I've known you for 5 years, and through those 5 years I have learned so much about you. I've found out so many things that hurt me and pleased me all in the same token.
I've loved you so much all these months, and those feelings can't and won't ever leave this heart of mine
But regardless of the past, I'm glad I'm leaving you if you happy.
I always dream of you this way ... And as the days pass by, my love for you will never go, it grows stronger and deeper in the depths of my heart. Please don't ask me why do still long for you ... for there's no one else but you that this heart of mine would love forever. My heart will always belong to you and all my love I send to you.
You are my heart, you are my life, you are my smile, you are my world... and you are my love.
I've loved you so much all these months, and those feelings can't and won't ever leave this heart of mine. Every time I am around you I want to let you know that I miss you so much and I really miss us. You are that someone, that special person that I could never deny my love for. I have made some really messed up choices and went down the wrong roads in our past and in our relationship, but I need you to know that because of all of those choices, I have made a turn for the better. I need you in my life, my arms, my heart, and in my world.

Can you stop and think about the question I am about to ask you very hard? Shiru, I am asking for the opportunity to love you with all that I am now and all that I will be in the future. I don't want to continue living my life feeling empty and lonely any more.
That is who I am and what I want - no money, no big house, no cool job, just those things. These are what truly matter to me now
Every day my love for you grows more. I fall in love over and over again. My only thoughts are of what I can do to make you happy, to allay your fears and restore your faith and love and trust in me and for me. The more I love you though the more I fear losing you
The decision that you will make regarding us is free will - not chance, not luck but a thought out decision that will have profound effects and changes on so many lives. We, going our separate ways, might work out for the better but it is still an unknown thought. I can't say what is best for you. I can only say what is best for the boys, you and me as a couple and all of us as a family.
You only know the pain, hurt and neglect of this relationship. Your basis for comparison to what you imagine could be is skewed by the bad memories of the past. If you let me in, let me prove to you that my change and feelings are profound and real I believe we can make it through. The ember of love that is glowing that is keeping this relationship together can be fanned to roaring flame of passion and love
When we broke up I would face the world each day with a fake smile to shield away all my pain and misery. With every step I took, I died a little more inside because I knew that was a step further away from you. Days would pass since I’d looked into your warm eyes and I’d start to get scared that the face I once saw was fading away from my memories.

I don’t have a good answer for all the things I ‘v done, but I’m sorry. I know that sorry will never be good enough for all the pain and despair I’ve caused you, and it will never be. I can never forgive myself for what I've done, nor do I expect you to. I just want you to know that you’ve touched my life and changed me for the better.
I sit here in sorrow, wishing I could hold you. I've realized that I've tried to replace you over and over since I made the foolish decision to leave you. But, no one can make me laugh and smile like you do. You are the only one that ever made me so happy. No one could ever take your place. I feel as if my soul has stolen my heart and left me to cry myself to sleep each and every night with guilt in my heart of how I hurt you. I guess you just don't realize what you have until it's gone. I was so stupid to leave you. I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry and I beg with every ounce of my soul please forgive me!

Author's Note

its not a poem..

Reviews

[Hebe]

Admiring your wrong is brave, understanding your mistakes is huge. Unfortunately we all make them. This writing is down to earth and reveals pain, suffering and regret very well!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Life is for living, learning, and admitting where we can change and grow. This story is a first step towards these attributes if wanted. Relationships are tricky and sometimes they must be carefully analyzed to see if healthy. I hope that this experience will be a positive step as you maneuver the future. Your honesty and vulnerable sharing was something many experience and I know identify with and will find common ground. .................Blessings.
Kathy

[Farha Nayamee]

Far gone love or unfathomable love...thats wot relations are like at times...dont feel much guilty...theres some reasons for some causes...if you still feel the pain read and review my poem as a simple sootheness to ur pain