my Inspiration-to-go

I've been bleeding out cap

Erasers all day long.

Pouring out sweet words from

Tear ducts song after song.

Cause what's mine isn't yours,

My wheat and rye passion.

Just like how you talk, I

Have got my own fashion.

A solemn string of notes

Drifts all around my head.

A vintage clock, and dried

Roses right by my bed.

Incense shall carry my

Desired bit of flow.

As a cross-hatched hand grabs

Inspiration-to-go.

 

 

Author's Note

It took a little while for all the lines to match. Can you tell I like the number six?

Reviews

[deadlife]

passion dear passion.....fire.
you're bleeding fire...................and the title..untitled.
perfect! (even if you've not chosen any title for it, it is perfect)...
I liked...
Cause what's mine isn't yours....certainly it can never be......and never let it be.
you are burning...LET THERE BE FIRE.

[J.P.O.et]

Excellent Natile,
The number six??????? Hmmmmmm?
Each line six syllables long or at least something along those lines right, yeah I got it now
What is your fascination with the number six?
If you wrote everything with such stringent guidelines your writing ability would be constrained,
or would it?
You obviously are talented so keep searchin for words
Be good
J.P.O.et

[The Communist Poet]

Good work. Interesting use of the number six�

[Morgan A Lynch]

very nice liked what you were trying to achive here. there are some rockie areas but hey i have them to.. over all awsome job and i will read more of your work.

[Red_Queen]

Very nice.
I cant wait to see some more of your work.

[Eagle Cruagh]

This is a well constructed, imaginative
poem. It flows nicely and the imagery is
good.
I am afraid it does not grab the attention of
the reader, it must be studied, squeezed to get
the juice from it .
I guess it depends what you are attempting in this
poem. Perhaps you have hit your mark.
It is a nice smooth read.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[a Messenger]

I get the six. Six syllables in all but one line. But, I am also confused about a few things. Those mentioned by Gary and "words from tearducts"?
I like the rhyme and flow but agree you need to watch the spelling and using the correct words.
Still, all in all, a good piece.


Jerry

[Travis Lawrence]

A smooth and careful craft. It's like drinking a glass of water, with each line steady in its pace.

"Cause what's mine isn't yours,
My wheat and rhye passion."

That got my head spinning (in a good way). Nicely done.

[Gary Alexander Azerier]

Hi,
I tried...really. But had difficulty. Can you tell me what "beeling out" is? "Beeling out CAP?"
And did you mean eraser? You have "erasor." What is "rhye" passion? What is "rhye?" Did you mean wry?
If you meant solemn...that too was misspelled.
Someone else on this site recently told me she didn't care about spelling...but that's how we can understand what the author is trying to say! I think you probably care. Anyway I tried...but I couldn't decode this! And what's that about the number six?
Good luck,
GA

[Nessa]

Damn... wow... this is simply AMAZING
Some day I hope I'll be as good as you.

Love and Peace,
Sunshine