For The Innocence Lost

For the innocence lost

A little girl sits in her room

Hearing loud screams downstairs

She slowly sees the light consumed

After hearing the banging of metal chairs

 

The reality of her situation grows

The fear in her eyes greatly shows

Her dad crashes in, ripping off her clothes

At this point time doesn't stop, it just slows

 

Racing in her head are happy thoughts and memories

So she can block it out and not feel so empty

She is overpowered and the pain intensifies

Now she realizes there are no more lies

 

Her dad continues to beat and rape her

Not knowing what else she might have to endure

Watching her world become even more obscure

Knowing that her home is no longer secure

 

She realizes that she's not asleep,

 But this is worse than a nightmare

It's over and she quietly weeps

To this agonizing pain, nothing compares

 

 

 

Author's Note

wrote it in like 15min just now so don't be too harsh! lol

Reviews

[Shannen Forrester]

Wow you weren't kidding about it being received poorly... but you do have a point. It is something that people need to be made aware of and realize just how widespread this actually is. Kudos on that at the very least. It certainly makes an impact and it is supposed to, your not supposed to like reading this, your supposed to become aware of what it is saying. Well done, now excuse me while I go and cry.

[SW..if..TY]

ya exactly! I knew when writing it, it wasn't going to get a good reception because it is touchy and a sensitive subject, but ya its meant only to make people more aware of how real this is and that it happens quite a bit. The inspiration for this poem came from this song I heard. Ir's a rap song but the lyrics are so powerful!

Give it a listen

Artist: Yelawolf
Song: Growing Up In The Gutter

[P. Kapper]

Obviously I'm not a fan of the nature of the topic, but this is one of those things that could and maybe should be used to bring awareness to this ugly act. It is well written. If I were to give one negative, it would be with the font you used, but definitely not the content

[SW..if..TY]

Thank you very much! and ya I thought I had changed the font, but I guess not!

[PossiblyAlice]

This writing is very intense. It wasn't what I was expecting. It catches you rather off guard, your blunt openness over such a horrific subject. One most people try to ignore, but alas you embrace it and transform it into a beautifully terrifying piece. It is hard to read, your eyes tell you to stop but you can't. And once you've finished you feel a desire to act out against these heinous crimes. Thank you for not being afraid attack such a horrific topic.

[SW..if..TY]

Wow! Thank you! Im glad it had such an impact! I was a little surprised with myself when I wrote it! But it is a topic/issue that needs to be addressed more often, because it happens all the time, everywhere!

[uhknowbot-e]

some raw s**t man. touchy subject, great writing

[SW..if..TY]

Thanks bro! I knew that before I was gonna write, but I wanted to qrite something on it.because its so real!

[Zap-the-awesome]

So disturbing.... Why do people have to be so evil? It's good writing but makes my blood boil a bit... People who do this...they should be lashed until their skin is peeling off and then thrown in a cell with the most horrendous criminals (with no one to protect them from them)

[SW..if..TY]

I couldn't agree with you more!!! I wrote for exactly that reason, people know its an issue but don't want to face the realities of it! It happens so much, I just had to write something about it

[Robbie~xoxo~]

You wrote this in 15min?...it is very good. Very intense write!
I believe you have alot of depth within this, and you should continue to foster that...
You have great potential as a writer my friend!...keep up the good work!

My only suggestion is that you may want to choose another font... blocked letters are distracting, but that is just my humble opinion...

Nicely done! :)

[SW..if..TY]

I did! a lot of my work/writing feels rushed and forced and I don't think they are good, but yet these are the ones that get the best reception. but I will definitely take the advice and use it! I kind of thought the same thing but all my other poems are all in the same font, so figured I would try something different

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's always good to experiment... you will find your own style...
When I started, I was a complete failure! lol :D
Have fun with it... I know you will be great! :)

[Sibling]

Damn. #dope.

[Jem Sagcal]

The thought of the idea behind the poem is so scary and incredibly sad that anyone would feel sorry for this girl. In these times, I bet that dozens of females are trying to endure this kind of situation, and you tackled their fear exactly.
This poem is truly amazing for it helps you feel and realize the pain that perhaps many are going through.

[SW..if..TY]

I felt it had to be written, not because I personally know anyone that has gone through this, because I don't, but ya it is a very real and happened everywhere, just wanted to acknowledge it and write something

[char]

So freaking empty. I hate these kind of situations. Makes me mad. Very angry. If this was my daughter I would castrate this man without anesthetics. He would probably pass out and die, but he deserves so much worse. Very powerful stuff, draws alot of emotion; pity, hate, and sadness. But mainly hate from me.

[SW..if..TY]

Hell ya!! I wanted to write something on a serious topic with lots of power behind it, and this is what was produced. Good and bad I guess, but this is a reality that so many live with/through! And is ignored and goes unnoticed