Boys..... LOL

Boys..... LOL

A Poem by Ashley morgan
"

Teens of new age.....LOL

"
Boys
You are all just Toys

HEHE

Laugh all you can
Under the Knife....You are the hens

HAHA

Don't ya CRY
We know all ya do is PRY
or at least ya TRY

LOL

Dontcha you try to BOO
If ya do....Then go SHOOOO

LMAO

Or we'll use ya
Then go BA BYE


 

© 2012 Ashley morgan


Author's Note

Ashley morgan
First try, Everyone, Criticize nicely and no offence to anyone!! LOL

My Review

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Featured Review

I kind of like it,...although as I was reading it , it turned into a song half way through. I picture this more as lyrics rather than a poem. More of a sort of rap than an emotive piece of writing, in my opnion. I think as lyrics it would be great but not as a poem, I agree with the lower comment of it being too modern, the abreviations of common terms isn't used in poetry, I understand your enthusiasm and that it came randomly to you but that doesn't mean it's a piece of writing with a meaning.
Oh and by the way, criticism isn't nice, that's why it is call criticism, and if you can't take constructive negative criticism then maybe writing isn't for you. Being an editor for younger people, I know that serious writers, especially authors, literary agents and publishers will rip you (not you personally meaning everyone as a whole) to pieces. I'm a serious critic, if you want an unbiased opinion on anything then i'm your girl but this, I will say I don't like, I don't think it's taken seriously.
Upload some of your stories you mentions on your "about" bit and maybe we can go from there. :] I'm not trying to be mean, just telling you how it is, people take it seriously on this site!
Love to you x

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Being single is my "Attitude"

Posted 8 Years Ago


Im sorry, im am actually so confuzzled :S I dont get it....

Posted 8 Years Ago


I don't get it...what's the topic? Laughing or boys?

Posted 8 Years Ago


I feel you can do much better, this isn't up to par.. trying focusing on a topic, something that inspires you perhaps a show and elaborate on it with words.. start out there. I got the idea behind the poem but the writing needs a lot of work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


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Joe
Yeah Freshening LOL :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Ashley morgan

8 Years Ago

lol
well i have seen my friends suffer under the treachery of beautiful girls......
and u have given that misery words to wipe!!!
rustic.......

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashley morgan

8 Years Ago

thanks :)
Nice. Didn't think of writing that way! Something new, huh?

Posted 8 Years Ago


I kind of like it,...although as I was reading it , it turned into a song half way through. I picture this more as lyrics rather than a poem. More of a sort of rap than an emotive piece of writing, in my opnion. I think as lyrics it would be great but not as a poem, I agree with the lower comment of it being too modern, the abreviations of common terms isn't used in poetry, I understand your enthusiasm and that it came randomly to you but that doesn't mean it's a piece of writing with a meaning.
Oh and by the way, criticism isn't nice, that's why it is call criticism, and if you can't take constructive negative criticism then maybe writing isn't for you. Being an editor for younger people, I know that serious writers, especially authors, literary agents and publishers will rip you (not you personally meaning everyone as a whole) to pieces. I'm a serious critic, if you want an unbiased opinion on anything then i'm your girl but this, I will say I don't like, I don't think it's taken seriously.
Upload some of your stories you mentions on your "about" bit and maybe we can go from there. :] I'm not trying to be mean, just telling you how it is, people take it seriously on this site!
Love to you x

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I think this is original and fun!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashley morgan

8 Years Ago

hAha....thank you : )
Um...wtf? This isn't a poem. Ur reallly gonna use "LOL" in a poem? Or "LMAO" and seriously, this doesn't make any sense at all. I'm 17 too, guess what? I don't write poems about 'boys' and I don't use slang. Hmm. Maybe this is a new thing. I suggest writing something that is a little more age appropriate, and does not have slang of any sort. Have a nice day :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashley morgan

8 Years Ago

everyone have their own choice of genre!! hehe and this is just what i came up with!! lol...and than.. read more

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339 Views
11 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 13, 2012
Last Updated on December 13, 2012
Tags: Boys, Girls, Use, Betray, Love, Lol

Author

Ashley morgan
Ashley morgan

Lahore, Pakistan



About
I am 17 years old super sexy young girl LOL, i Love myself more than anything and i write epic stories or poems HEHE, I love to make friends and i have like some more than a thousand on Facebook!!! Ha.. more..


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