F**k the Internet!

F**k the Internet!

A Poem by Jared Fellows

It's a rant...


So here I am, minding my own business, surfing the Internet on a Sunday morning right? Everything was all right, you know nothing out of the ordinary. Suddenly, a pop-up window, thingy pops up out of nowhere. Yeah don’t you hate that? You don’t even notice either, so then, after you’re done using the computer, you have to click the close button on every single f*****g window because your computer won’t shut down because you have a window open. Don’t you love Macs for that? You don’t have to do that for Macs, they just close the windows automatically.

Anyway, a pop-up window comes up and it shows an advertisement to watch a guy kick a moose in the head…Yeah, you heard me right. There’s apparently some guy who kicked a moose in the head and they have an advertisement for it. Okay, there are several things wrong here. First, of all, why? I mean, what do you gain? Is it fun? Is it thrilling? It’s not the same as tipping cows over, people. You’re kicking a moose in the head! Two, why a moose? What has a moose EVER done to you? I mean it. Have there ever been moose attacks? I don’t see the Canadians reporting any! They are so kind and gentle. I hope they kick your a*s to the curb! Third, are you showing your strength and superiority? Oh, look at me, I kicked a moose in the head! Ha ha, go f**k yourselves. Fourth, who thought this was a good idea? No really, I would like to know their thought process. Did they just want to see what happens if you kick a moose in the head? Yeah, you know what, that’s probably it. All they wanted was just to see how the animal would react. He’s probably a wimp too. The thought process probably went something like this, “I want to kick an animal in the head. Oh, but I can’t kick an aProxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 mal like a bear. Oh, no, that animal would go to town on me. I can’t do a cute animal like a bunny, so I’ll get hate mail. I KNOW! I’ll do a moose. Nobody cares about them.” Well guess what, a*****e, I DO!

And you know what, I have a major problem with this guy. Yeah I really do and I haven’t even clicked on the link. Yes, I know that I am assuming and that means I’m “making an a*s out of you and me”, but this is bullshit! It’s utter bullshit! The fact that you have to advertise, or can even advertise such a thing is just as ridiculous. Who thought this was a good idea. WHO thought this was a good idea? Actually, why would you pay someone to advertise a video that you’re not going to make money off of? You know what that means? It means that it is spam. Yeah, it’s one of those stupid spam things that say, “Oh, if you fill out this form you win an Xbox 360.” Yeah, well you know what? I did. Yeah, I spent about an hour going through page after page, trying to get to that Xbox, but the pages never ended and I gave up. That is an HOUR of my life that I’ll never get back.

You know what, screw this. Screw the Internet, screw ads, screw pop-ups, and screw that f*****g guy who kicks moose in the head!

© 2010 Jared Fellows

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Dear, you were the idiot who went through the Xbox pages.

Nice rant though, by the by.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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1 Review
Added on March 5, 2010
Last Updated on March 5, 2010
Tags: rant, fuck, the, internet, moose, kick, head, asshole, pop, ups, macs, advertisement


Jared Fellows
Jared Fellows

Los Angeles, CA

my name is Pockets, and I am your storyteller. Why a storyteller instead of a writer? When Satan has dragged me to his home because of my passion for the truth, I will be a writer. When logic i.. more..