Pigmented

Pigmented

A Poem by Natehy
"

Literally just wrote this right now, so there are probably some mistakes. But please read and please enjoy it.

"
Are you in pain like me?
Living in an intoxicating bubble that invokes madness.
Wanting to be set free,
But the shade is at its blackest.

Dark as midnight,
The starry sky is a blur.
Waiting for life to take flight,
Have you ever wondered who you were?

Everything is grey.
Only hearing whispers of self-doubt,
Having led you astray.
Are your eyes yet in a drought?

Red, the color rushing out of you
The wound is scarcely gaping
If only they knew,
That there is no escaping.

Are you in pain like me?
Living in an intoxicating bubble that invokes madness.
Wanting to be set free,
But the shade is at its blackest.

© 2017 Natehy


Author's Note

Natehy
Ignore the mistakes please :-) if you can, drop a comment and share your thoughts!

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Featured Review

• Are you in pain like me?

How can a reader know? You're focused on the symptoms—the effect. But without knowing cause can the reader either answer, or empathize?

You're reader isn't looking to know how someone feels. They want you to make them feel.

You're thinking in terms of informing the reader, when you should be placing them in your bootprints, made to feel what the character does.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Natehy

4 Years Ago

I asked the question to the readers who can relate. I don't think all poems need to be so complex, a.. read more



Reviews

I liked the questions asked in the poetry. The poem had the feel of personal thoughts. Your words direct, honest and true. The best kind. Thank you Natehy for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 4 Years Ago


I enjoyed your original word usage in several places. You already know my favourite.

In poetry be cautious you about reusing words like 'only'

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rich with imagery in an odd sort of way...your poem pushes the reader to look inside...answering the question you start and end with...Are you in pain like me? That question sparks us to want to read more...to know if there is a kindred soul out there that identifies with our own pain...and ending with that same question, leaves us hanging...looking within...wondering. Nicely done.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There's a real sense of emotion that seeps through this poem, and you have some truly beautiful imagery; and your use of rhetorical questions works perfectly. Keep up the good work!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

'are your eyes in drought?' great, great!! i have had these thoughts! it reads brilliantly how the emotions spill, splutter and fade away into the dark silence that is "deepression" because it is a deep dark place for some of us!!!!!! thank you for your penning, great emotions in there!!!!!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There is a sense of pain and depression in the Poet's words. I think it is something that relates to most of the people these days. I think the most important thing you did here is projecting the pain in different ways to help the reader understand whether he or she goes through the same pain. The repetition of the first stanza takes us back to the beginning where the poet started telling us about the pain... Very good write...

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

• Are you in pain like me?

How can a reader know? You're focused on the symptoms—the effect. But without knowing cause can the reader either answer, or empathize?

You're reader isn't looking to know how someone feels. They want you to make them feel.

You're thinking in terms of informing the reader, when you should be placing them in your bootprints, made to feel what the character does.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Natehy

4 Years Ago

I asked the question to the readers who can relate. I don't think all poems need to be so complex, a.. read more
I got sucked n while reading this. Beautiful.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Natehy

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much :-)

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332 Views
8 Reviews
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Added on February 28, 2017
Last Updated on February 28, 2017
Tags: #colors, #insane, #questioning, #sadness, #depression

Author

Natehy
Natehy

Long beach , CA



About
I really just hope that whoever reads my poems or just writing in general will soak in the stanzas for a cool second. more..

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