lost inbetween

please read and enjoy

The desperation of 

loving someone who

doesn't mirror suit. 

Whatever the case is 

the most wanted 

feeling is to be safe. 

Tethered together til

time tells the 

unwanted departure. 

but all in this 

small and quite domain 

suddenly starting to fade.

The forced silhouettes 

replace the shapes and 

ever etched faces. 

Fluttering toward an 

open space where 

palpability pours past.

An isolation that 

lingers lost and 

lasts lividly.

The solitude that 

converses with the 

stars in the sky. 

Splitting the air 

into decisions and 

inhaling insufferable insanity.

Author's Note

ignore any mistakes you've seen, but do tell what's on your mind

Reviews

[slfisher89]

Love the alliteration; gives a melodic quality

[mournful bear]

This is a part of you that you never show, it's deep down in your heart but when it shows it speaks the true sense of life! Great penning!!

[wordman]

a touching write,telling a story from the heart

[Kate W]

For me, this started out strong. However, I felt the flow was interrupted by the alliteration in verses 6 & 7. Perhaps it's too much? Everything else seems to work.

[Natehy]

I get where you're coming from, care to explain more in depth? Stanza 6 is a continuation from the 5th, from the 6th to the 7th, at least that's what I had intended, to me because I wrote it, I understand but if you can explain why the flow interrupted, maybe I'll be able to see it too

[Kate W]

Reading it again and again, I trip over two words; 'palpability and lividly. I can only explain that the way I read it, palpability doesn't roll off the tongue and lingers lost and lasts lividly feels like a tongue twister.
Sorry. Sometimes it's difficult to explain, when we all read and interpret in different ways.