Complex

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I know I always say that

You think I'm insincere

and for that, I'm sorry

I wish I could look into your eyes

I hate the way that sounds

so Austen, so pink

but God I wish I could

Eyes are interesting, you know?

The body parts that say the most

and my mouth doesn't open

when things really matter

so I'm terrified of my eyes

I'm sorry that I can't look at you,

all of you

because I'm afraid that what you'll see

are the things that I'm searching for

and that you'll understand the things inside of me

that I can't

and I'll only have the ache of rage

and jealousy in my bones

that you can simply comprehend

my complex

To meet another's eyes

is too much for me

too intimate

too overpowering

I always have to look away

before I scream or cry

because it's beautiful

and frightening all at once

It knocks my breath right out

I wish I could look into your eyes

but all I have are vicious cycles

I am insecure about being insecure

You'll see something you're afraid of or

I'll be too much

and you'll bolt

I wish I could look into your eyes

and you could look into mine

and we could feel that stirring

but I can't