Loves Affliction (age 16)

This poem was written through encounters with love. It shows my understanding of love and also its result. Enjoy.

You've held the rock i bear

and seen that it bleeds. Love.

So intoxicating, So indulgent, So

irrepressible. Our most

 

Private passions burn at the

molten core of our being,

Luring us to the very heights of

ecstacy, and depths of despair.

 

Desire is poison. Love is war.

Passion is ourselves.

I drown in my own pool of

sorrow, for love is dead.

 

My darkest dreams are

mine alone,

With no Hypnos,

Longing chains me...

Reviews

[Reverent]

I adore your style. Succinct without being incomplete, a talent that makes room for great potential.
Though, there is something about this poem that feels like stunted growth, as if there were more words to say but were restricted instead of fulfilling potential.
I wish that you had grown it out further. ( Though that may be because I was enticed so greatly)

Still, this poem marks a superb profile of the teenage heart, and I hope to read more from you in the future.

[Roger Turgeon]

I think you have captured the ying and yang of love. Heights and depths, ecstacy and despair.

[Buniheart]

Simply loving it :D

[AmandaN]

Honest and powerful write,great imagery and word use. Takes me back to my youth ;-) thanks.

[Mermaidstear]

This is beautifully written and it really stirred me up while I was going through it.

[Andy Hackett]

My heart tugs while reading this. It seems kind of...umm...erotic at the start, or am I just imagining that in the words? The first half is fiery and the last half is forlorn. I really like your stuff. Told you that you should've put up some stuff, look how many reviews you have already! More than I do and I've had mine up for a year. XD

[Rae]

Wow. This piece was incredible. Keep writing!!

[AndyJCash]

I do get frustrated with the break up poems on this site, but not when someone like yourself actually writes them well. Fantastic abstract dark imagery says a great deal more than simple whining. Great stuff :)

[Silent_Whispers]

Thank you :) Actually it was much longer, but a professional author advised me to simplify it even though i prefer the longer version myself. But thank you, i appreciate your honesty.