Behind his Pen

I wrote this for one hell of a teacher

The world of words have special luster that can't be denied
Grander more than magic that can change one's whole life

Numbed I was, for a very long time
Had lot's of problems in keeping up with the rhyme

I tried to give up my pen
It was so hard it seemed like sin

I needed inspiration, I needed a push
To get back to what I started to what I love

Until I learned something I never thought I would
Be proud, keep on writing. Never to stop

"A new poem is always silly to the poet." He said
That I didn't believe and forever wouldn't

"Even if it felt silly don't care
Those are your thoughts your emotions you chose to share."

"I don't like anything I wrote."
Showing off, for a second I thought

Until he said: "I want to make a change
Drop the old book and open a whole new page."

I was stuck in a cage I made for myself
Working so hard to be who they wanted me to be

He taught me that writing is profile of life
And stopping would be the murders knife

He woke me up from every writer's nightmare
So sudden that I stood back and stared

It felt weird to look at things through his eyes
But if I didn't I would've never realized
That writing is my love, a love that never dies

I could never thank you enough you awesome poet and be sure I wouldn't have gone this far without your advises

Reviews

[beautiful dreamer]

aww how sweet!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I think this is a really good skeleton of a poem...meaning that it's a good start and it could be great with a little more work. The subject matter is right on...never stop writing, no matter what anyone tells you, how they critique you, etc. Just learn from your mistakes and revel in the praise until you've honed your skills.

The main things that I see in this piece that could use a tiny bit of improvement are word choice and tempo. Writing a rhyming poem is very difficult, especially in the direct couplet style. You have to be careful to keep each of the lines "relatively" even in terms of syllable count or else the flow and beat gets choppy. A way you can help this is by looking at your adjectives and perhaps things of different words with different syllabic counts to replace them. Also, edit out all of the unnecessary words whenever possible. Overall, though, a great start and a nice read. Good job.