Ambition

Kinda random,really tired. Less sad,more....one of the other sides of me.

I won't forgive you,even as your soul fades to black.

Your blood on my hands,I know you're never coming back.

 

A heavenly face,once you were a dear friend.

A quick good-bye,you never thought this pain would end.

 

As I watch you bleed,I recognize misery firsthand,now.

My prowess with a knife,before I leave,I'll take my final bow.

 

A snicker and a kiss opon your cheek,

This is the punishment for underestimating the weak.

Reviews

[Liverpoolfan]

This is a really good poem. It is short yet it somehow converys so much. However, ocassionally, the rhyming seemed a little forced. But the ending... The ending was in a class of its on. Well done on a terrific write. I am now off to read some more of your work. I'm sure they will all be as good as this. At least, I hope so.

[cheeeeese]

Wow, in just those simple lines, so much came out. It was sinister, but very good to read, I loved it. Your rhyming didn't seem forced. Great job :)

[ebur™]

In just eight lines, it seems you have me awestruck and satisfied. I really loved this one and it was so deep. And you poetry scheme was great as well, it didn't seemed forced. Wonderful ending as well, I loved all your lines used in this piece, they were so unique. Great job :) 100% oh, and I love the picture on the top. ^_^

[Vesa Lee]

Biting.
But this also posses also a lullaby-like quality to the flow.
Romantic and macabre.
Killer ending. Great write.

[Coyote Poetry]

You can write a story. No wasted words. You told a complete story in 8 lines. That takes a very good writer. I could feel the disappointment and the slow death. Ending was outstanding.
Coyote