Little Plastic Stars

Little Plastic Stars

A Poem by James Takeo Panton

 

What once was child’s room
Now rests my bed
Spray-plastered ceiling
With stars overhead
Each night do I sleep
Beneath dim plastic glow
Little kid’s stars
From here they’ll not go
I let them remain
Above me at night
Faint constellations
Just within sight
Looming beyond window
Mirrored night sky
Real stars twinkle
In darkness so high
Millions and sparkling
But so far away
And they disappear
With each coming day
My stars are dim
Plastic stuck on
These are the stars
That I wish upon

 

© 2009 James Takeo Panton


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There's almost an eerie way to how these plastic stars are described, as though you're making a parallel allusion to society. The last few lines "My stars are dim/Plastic stuck on/These are the stars/That I wish upon" send chills down my back. It's like you're saying that the world's people are all children, wishing upon the image, the illusion of reality.

I loved the rhythm. Absolutely flawless in that area. Very good groove, pleasant to read out loud, and beautiful in my inner ear. The rhymes aren't forced, and each one contributes something to the poem, rather than just being there for the rhyme itself.

One of the better poems I've seen lately. Good work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love this, James. A soliloquy on the real and unreal, the plastic stars of childhood against the real but untouchable stars of adulthood. A journey that takes us from Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny to unrequited love and the mortgage we can't afford. Your return to a preference for childhood values is underlined with your terrific line - 'These are the stars / That I wish upon.'
Your rhyme scheme is very effective, adding that touch of magic to the subject. My only crit is with the line - 'I leave them remain'. Pesonally, I would have used 'let' instead of 'leave', but that's just my own personal choice. Lovely piece.
David.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There's almost an eerie way to how these plastic stars are described, as though you're making a parallel allusion to society. The last few lines "My stars are dim/Plastic stuck on/These are the stars/That I wish upon" send chills down my back. It's like you're saying that the world's people are all children, wishing upon the image, the illusion of reality.

I loved the rhythm. Absolutely flawless in that area. Very good groove, pleasant to read out loud, and beautiful in my inner ear. The rhymes aren't forced, and each one contributes something to the poem, rather than just being there for the rhyme itself.

One of the better poems I've seen lately. Good work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
Added on February 3, 2009
Last Updated on February 3, 2009

Author

James Takeo Panton
James Takeo Panton

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, Canada



About
I am a 38-year old amateur and have only recently started writing some stuff. I began putting down these words around November, 2007, and discovered that I enjoyed doing this, and now I am seeing w.. more..

Writing