scattered across the sky

My love falls like drops of rain

Scattered across the sky

Drops drift down the glass

dancing down from my eyes
the window covered by drops of rain
silent and Slow they fall
as they rest upon the stage of the eyes window pain

Painted streets covered in the rain

Reflective diamond white and ruby red
Painted like mountains, sunset skies, and leaves in fall


I fly drifting in the clouds
Hunting for a spring day
Just beyond the mountains
Where the sun hides from the world to see
Off sailing in hopes of finding lovers dreams

Reviews

[Valley]

This is very poignant and elegantly crafted. You can certainly get a sense of floating and drifting motions, warbling and whispering, perhaps.

Did you use the word "drops" twice to gain the literary repetition, or was it accidental? Either way it works well, and a synonym for "drops" (i.e. mist, dew, condensation) could be used in place of one and it would be just as well done.

Yeah, just really good overall basically.

[nocool]

drops are significant in the picture I am trying to make...

and thank you for your kind words.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

I like the comparison and the pictures this poem creates with her verses

[nocool]

Thank you very much for that...

[reetu]

Thanks for an interesting poem :) Excellent describing.

[nocool]

Thank you.

[im_just_me]

I loved this! You are very talented. Thank you for sharing.

[nocool]

thank you.