AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

A Story by Courtney
"

i dont know really i dont

"

my life is like one big black hole. Hurting everyone around me that i love.  All i want to do is be loved for who i am . I wish people would talk to me like I'm a human. Not a piece of trash or s**t. I mean i am a person a human like everyone else. I'm just misunderstood. Really i am. Im sick of it all. I cant take it. The perosn whom i love makes me feel so bad.  Then other times he is really nice. Im sick i really am. Cant sleep anymore, nothing more then 30 mins. I cant eat eather. I think im fat. Even though people say im skininy. I hate the way i look and feel. Im caught between the madness and confusion of deception. I look in the mirror and i see a cold dead peson. All the people leaving me, all the pain of my life. Ive wasted my life with all the drugs and s**t. I mean whats wrong with me???!!!! I wish someone would tell me. Im sick of being treated like im insane or something. Im sick of all the mental hospitals the therapists, mainly the pain. That all i feel most of the time is pain, or hate. Mostly is mental pain but sometimes physical from not eating or the cuts... or lack of sleep or me going down from a high... I HATE THIS LIFE!!!! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!! I feel like bawling my eyes out. But i hate crying i really do.F**K just give me a razor... please... i need help but i wont accept  it. i cant think of anything to do. nothing thats all i see nothing.....just nothing

In the light... All i see.... is darkness

© 2013 Courtney


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Featured Review

Oh, my God. You are me. Sorry. That sounds a bit odd. But I have felt that way for most of my life. Nobody cared enough to take the time to get to know me. And so I remain misunderstood. I LOVE this line: "All i want to do is be loved for who i am". I have this arguement with my therapist every week.

But again, a great write. And know, I'm always here to listen should you want/need someone who will most likely understand. :)

Josie

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

yup i agree with you! i wish they could..hahah

Posted 11 Years Ago


damn :(
its so sad. i know exactly how you feel.
its like we cant even walk down the school hall way without one of the preppy b*****s looking down at us like were just literally a piece of s**t. i just wish they could go threw the same things i do (manly cause of them) for one day!!! just at least one frickin day!!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


yup life still sucks for me..still about the same
but im trying to quite the drugs
its hard but i think i can do it i hope

Posted 11 Years Ago



i need help but i wont exept it (accept) - that's if you'll accept it!
I feel like bawling my eyes out. But i hate crying i really do (bawling doesn't seem to fit with the anger of the piece somehow?)

Hey this is heart rending stuff - whether it's the voice of a narrator or not.
If this is the voice of the author then maybe your writing can become your therapy. I'm sure many writers would agree and have used writing as an outlet to vent their feelings at some time or another.
...at least you can rant all you like on here!
cheers - hope this helps!


Posted 11 Years Ago


"though of suicide " shouldn't it be thought?
"one to many " to should be too...
"Im sick really am. " you're missing an I,
Dear, you know i'm here for you. For the time being we go to the same school. And I think I know the person you're talking about. Just do me a favor... Foget him, I know it's hard to forget the one you love but trust me, he is better to be forgoten. Go out with Daisey, she is nicer to you and likes you still the same.
But do remember I do care for you and if I need help with my eating then so do you and (please don't make me) if I have to I will talk to someone to get you help like Miranda did for me. I know you wont want to accept it, but if you are sick of this life the you should at least try to get some help.
Miranda helped me and now i'm trying to help her stop drinking like she wants, but only is too stupid to do any thing about it. I love her, but sometimes she isn't the smartest person in the world. Yes I know this review is going on forever and I did rudely fix some of your grammer mistakes. But I really just want to help. Keep your writing going. And spill out your feelings even tho sometimes it is hard.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh, my God. You are me. Sorry. That sounds a bit odd. But I have felt that way for most of my life. Nobody cared enough to take the time to get to know me. And so I remain misunderstood. I LOVE this line: "All i want to do is be loved for who i am". I have this arguement with my therapist every week.

But again, a great write. And know, I'm always here to listen should you want/need someone who will most likely understand. :)

Josie

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 9, 2008
Last Updated on May 24, 2013

Author

Courtney
Courtney

ha NC, NC



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