My Hollowed Head

it's very hard to explain the oncological/psychological phenomenon known as chemo brain. so here's a try

Despite my claims of having moved on
despite the contentment of the memories that I have
there will always be this painful void
full of the things that I should have said
the thoughts I should have expressed
my dreams I know now I should have confessed
I wish you could know the detail of my sorrow
but I know that you never will
even when my mind was further opening
I lost the chance
and now that the days and months have run on
and the years have sped by in a blur
I know I will never have that chance again
even though I wish it
even though I see the fictitious play in those dreams
I have seen the truth
it hurts me so
I wished I could have realized that this would end
but nothing could reach the precipice of my hollowed head
nothing ever could
now with my infallible mind
I carry on with a broken heart