I'm Okay (I have something in my eye)

I'm Okay (I have something in my eye)

A Poem by J. R.

They can't stand to face each other
Bottle it up, it's better 
To not say anything
She closes the door behind her
She can't let him see her crying
She says to him
"I'm okay"
He feels empty like an eggshell
Blocking out any little feeling
He says to her
"I'm okay"
Their home has turned cold and gray
They don't even look at each other
They don't know why they stay
Fighting back the tears
They say to each other
"I'm okay."

© 2010 J. R.


Author's Note

J. R.
This one doesn't really rhyme, I hope it turned out alright

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Reviews

quite good... i think, personally that rhyming can actually limit a writer, the words you can use to describe something become so much less when you use rhyme

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sounds to me like the home of people who need to see the spark flare back up. Great write. It's full of the emotion needed to reveal the point of a lonely empty home. Fantastic.

Posted 8 Years Ago


An expression of emotion doesn't have to rhyme. Prose is using language to capture the glimpse of the essence. The simpler the better. I'd say you accomplished that well. Your second lines in each stanza are the most powerful.

Posted 9 Years Ago


i like it :) i'm too lazy to write poems that rhyme myself. i like the way that little "I'm okay" maintains its impact thru to the last stanza.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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328 Views
4 Reviews
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Added on September 11, 2010
Last Updated on September 13, 2010
Tags: okay, bottled, up, depression, secret, secrets

Author

J. R.
J. R.

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I am an aspiring writer who is interested in improving as a writer and getting my work out to the world. . more..

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