Distances

Most people think that being lonely is the worst thing. It definitely is not

I am so close and yet so far

For rotten parts of me stealing away my soul

As I call out silences penetrate into my lair

And swallows me inside it immensity

As I resent for the emptiness of my feelings

Truths reveal but are kept beneath my denial

So I try hypnotizing myself with memories

Fabricated a bit to flow with my appetite

So far have I travel and so few I found

With my disoriented sense for definition of home

The fear to love someone and my courage can’t overcome

Barriers from my past being chained to me

The ones closest to me were the ones I never trust

No longer will I risk the luxury of trust emotionally

And this little traumatized insect rioting inside my head

Pulling the strings of my actions and thoughts

Trapping me inside the puppet like physical body

I always knew these distances are so close

And yet so far as like reaching for a thousand suns

Perhaps it is just the nature of me

After all, to love is the perfect horror show of all

 

Nyi

8.8.2012