Dilemma

falling in love with someone or something unknown

i do not know you 

I could have, had you have wanted me to,

Had you have given me a chance

Or feasibly you had

Possibly I was blind, or,

Perhaps I had shadowed my mind with ill thoughts,

And backlashes like hands bashing in my life’s clay

I’m a sculptor; I know not what to sculpt;

There is a hiatus in my vivacity.

An interlude in my harmony of confusion.

My premeditations have proven malleable, and chaotic;

That you’d never want me at your side

Or that you’d want our fingers matted together and our toes buried in the grains of time;

Floating in entirety, basking in eternal exhilaration.

But because you are ambiguous, my songs of silver swans are trapped in kingdoms of doom.

I tell them anecdotes instead,

Pacifying them,

I dare not enrage them because

I’ve fallen into blackness.

Your voice  like carillons, calling narcissistic clouds to gloat underneath a faultless sky that is my heart.

I do not know you.

How can one long for what is unknown?

Diamonds, stars and aches in the deepest parts of my soul are all I have to riposte this bewilderment.

Here I stand love-struck and lovelorn, yet you drift further into perils I cannot comprehend

Whose feet are those? they strut like a god, exacting your retribution

They say in the end we are all mortals, we will perish, but not you, not with such power over my sunken spirit

Your smile is an unsung libretto,

An ephemera i crave.

But you seldom furnish all that could illuminate us; you will not give me liberation.

I tell her, you see, it is this familiarity in my parlance that frightens me

She laughs and says absence makes the heart grow fonder.

But what is fondness without truth and memory ; this is my conundrum,

i do not  know you …