Healing

Healing

A Poem by olympiuslu
"

I feel like I have been born again.

"

The white walls are clinical

they remind me that I am clean

to be clean is to be real

I feel like I have been born again

 

My brain was never enough

my body was always worn

the shock of a thousand volts

brings me back to life.

 

I always loved to run

freedom kept me awake

but being imprisoned

has left me feeling wanted

wrapped in the arms of a lover 

I am finally warm.

© 2018 olympiuslu


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Featured Review

Wonderful use of words and thoughts.
"I always loved to run
freedom kept me awake
but being imprisoned"
I understand the above lines. Runners learn one day. Must slow down or die alone. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. I enjoyed this one.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

I am so sorry I have only just seen this review!
But thank you very much, I'm glad you liked.. read more
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

I did enjoy and you re welcome.



Reviews

To me, this doesn't sound 100% positive (I don't mean this as a bad thing, just an observation) . . . it seems to have a bit of a sarcastic edge. Even tho your well-crafted details seem to describe a clinical setting, I also get the feeling there's a double meaning too, especially when I get to the last stanza. I can't really relate to how this might feel, but I'm sensing there's a deep meaning for those who've been thru something similar (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


this is so beautifully written, it's something i can really connect to. my favourite part were the lines
"I always loved to run

freedom kept me awake

but being imprisoned

has left me feeling wanted"

so well written, great job

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much, I am so glad to hear that you like it!
Love is freedom- together to be free in unity- wonderful words- 🌹

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

You're right, thank you!
‘Thoughts In Time’🌹

6 Years Ago

My pleasure🌹
Wonderful use of words and thoughts.
"I always loved to run
freedom kept me awake
but being imprisoned"
I understand the above lines. Runners learn one day. Must slow down or die alone. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. I enjoyed this one.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

I am so sorry I have only just seen this review!
But thank you very much, I'm glad you liked.. read more
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

I did enjoy and you re welcome.
Very Powerful. I really love that those things that should feel constricting or painful are actually the things that make the main character feel safe, warm, loved, alive. It's heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. Truly beautiful.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

Thank you! I'm happy to hear that you think so.
First of all, wow, absolutely amazing. Though this is not a long poem, the words you chose make up for it's length. So powerful, and beautiful. It's not complex, as I had kind of expected it to be based off of the first line, but turned into something simple, and captivating. Outstanding job.
Keep writing, I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

Thank you, I really appreciate it!
I love this, very intriguing and so well written.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

Thank you!
I loved this poem, your use of language is intiguingly appealing while conveying vivid imagery. Thanks for sharing another great piece!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much for such kind comments!
"My brain was never enough,
My body was always worn"

This poem speaks in many ways, and if powerful! Well structured, well thought out - this has a profound mysticity that takes the reader into a soothing world where the magic of healing is real. If you don't mind my saying, upon arrival at the ending, it felt a little anticlimactic, and I think it's the two middle lines that really bring it down, for although they may add sense to the narrative, and set up the ending, the flow kind of does an unnecessary detour in order to get to the ending, and it kind of takes the reader out for a moment. The supposed "illness" or in this case "imprisonment" is implicit throughout the poem, so those two lines are not particularly needed. The poem would be 100x better without them....simply as "I always loved to run/freedom made me feel/[now] wrapped in the arms of a lover/I am finally warm". Playing more on the aspect of my favourite lines (those mentioned at the beginning of this review) could be advisable, but not entirely necessary, I leave you to make that call. Lastly, "volts" is the word your looking for (if you're talking about electricity), not "vaults" (which is not even the same sound, let alone meaning....it means "strongroom", "deposit box", e.g Harry Potter has his money at Gringott's stored in a "vault").

Other than that.....wow! Well freaking done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

olympiuslu

6 Years Ago

Thank you for such helpful and constructive feedback, I will be sure to rethink and look over this .. read more
emipoemi

6 Years Ago

my pleasure.

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585 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on February 13, 2018
Last Updated on February 18, 2018

Author

olympiuslu
olympiuslu

United Kingdom



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