That Day

One Morning...

I must tell you

How I felt that day

I felt pathetic!!!!

I can't stop crying!!!

The chains on my chest

 Tighter 

Colder

I can't stop replaying 

that s****y day

Sitting on that cold sidewalk

On that rainy and cloudy morning 

Thinking how pathetic I looked!! 

How???

Why??

I hate myself!!!

I shouldn't have trusted!! Not a soul! 

Not even mine!! 

Because I learned

I'm not a priority

Never will

what does that even feel like?

I'm so pathetic!!

Author's Note

Thank you friends for reading and your reviews! :)

Reviews

[light and ashes]

You're not. Everyone deserves to be a priority in at least one person's life.

[Michelle Coleman]

I have known these days.

I have found that despite appearances and feelings, we are often the biggest betrayers in our lives. We make unhealthy choices. We pretend to see a green light when red is flashing bright in our eyes. We give people permission to hurt us by making excuses for them. By taking the blame, ourselves. We are willfully delusional because we want, we need, to feel loved and accepted no matter the cost. Then one day we find ourselves stumped on a sidewalk in a downpour wondering what the hell is wrong with us. Surely we must be unloveable, right? No. That is also delusional.

We make mistakes to learn. To figure out what does and does not work. Of course, in the raw emotions of betrayal and self loathing, this lesson is not always so easy to see.

Thank you for sharing this piece of your life.

[JBoone]

Very powerful and raw. Great emotion and heart. You ask very real questions that I think many can relate to. I know that I can.