MURMURATION

been meaning to write this one for a year or two .. there are beaches of black sand in some parts of the world .. here one goes a little crazy .. like starlings when the form a murmuration

Rise up, you beach of ink black sand

Rise up! Rise up! O how you stand!

Hot swirl about us, boiling storm

Reforming in this breathless air

An E, an L, a V, an O

A billion letters on the wing

A murmuration made of lives

Reforming into lines of verse

Reform! Perform! o how you storm!

Hot blinding jetness in our eyes

Dark primacies materealise

To know themselves at one with all

We settle into words-made dust

Stretched, endings, scattered on black sand

~

Reviews

[Gary H]

Is an interesting contrast between white and black. 'Reform! Perform! o how you storm' sounds like Shakespeare trying to rewrite Othello, 'O monstrous! Monstrous!' Iago replies 'Nay, this was but his dream.' (iii.3 line 423/24) But the 'dark primacies materialise' as Marlyn Manson.

[R J Askew]

Bloody hell. Is it you!? Just like old times!

[TL Boehm]

We settle into words made dust. A black sand beach in itself is highly poetic. So much so I don't think I could pen it but YOU did. Well done.

[R J Askew]

cheers dear friend

[Tina Kline]

A very exhilarating and entertaining poem.
I like the chaotic feel to this, it's how the world is, on every level.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

has a certain feel to it...as a reader goes through the lines of this one...did you want to arrange the line that way in this part:

An E, an L, a V, an O
----------------------------------------
An L, an O, a V, an E

just wondering....may be you have a different meaning to the audience there...

[R J Askew]

thanks for your comment .. re your question .. yep, I intended the letters to be out of order at that point as the letters start off as a jumble in the swirl and then gradually reform themselves into meaningful words and then into lines etc .. language is sooo astonishing .. we take it for granted .. if you imagine all the words you use today reduced to a can of letters and then shaken up .. the loss of language in a human is a shocking thing .. we are astonishing creatures

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Ditto to that...r u welcome...