Hand-In-Hand

My very first Sonnet ever. This Sonnet is about the forever remembered love for a mother or grandmother. remembered.

Hand-In-Hand....

Her tired eyes saw more than I'll ever know;

long silv'ry hair piled high upon her head,

the clean fresh scent of times so long ago ...

warm stinging tears are those I often shed.

Remembering her laughter through our years,

when we walked hand in hand along the shore.

As lovely sounds of church bells filled my ears,

my love still held by ocean's distant roar.

Now, fresh white, fragrant lilies near her lie,

a few soft petals fallen from the rain ...

their faces wet, turned up toward the sky;

along with them she takes rest from her pain. 

Sweet memories we shared now mean so much,

each day, I long for her caressing touch.

                                   ~~~

                                     

Author's Note

A very special thank you to Richard!! Who saw this as a Sonnet (I had no idea what a Sonnet even was!!) and, helped me complete it. He opened up a whole new world to me.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was particularly touching to me. I was the primary caregiver for my mother the last five years of her life. It was the hardest and most challenging task I have ever undertaken. Given the chance, I'd gladly do it all again. By her grave, I was almost too exhausted to cry. But I found great comfort in knowing her worldly suffering had come an end even though I know I will miss her until we meet again. Thank you for this, I enjoyed. F.

[Lisasview]

Thank you Fabian,
I am glad you liked it.
My plan is to rework my Sonnet so please look for it again.
I too took care of my mother for several years.
And, of my father in law and also my step mother.
Loads of work but I would never trade it. For the precious time I spent with them will be in my memory forever.

[Lisasview]

Hi Fabian, Just submitted my newest version of this poem and I also submitted one that I am working on.
Hoping you have time to look at them.
Lisa

[Crosby Idasa]

Nice lines and perfection, the sweet memories of life never dies in us.

[Lisasview]

Yes, it is true.. with memories life never dies..in us..
Thank you so much for reading my first submitted poem..
Lisa

[Crosby Idasa]

You’re welcome 🌹

[R.J Calzonetti (Siniste..]

I really enjoyed this, thanks for sharing! :)

[Lisasview]

I am confused R.J. I thought that you said you do not review??
Glad you liked my Sonnet.. First one I have ever written..Lisa

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I review, it's just not something I'm particularly good at. I should update my profile, I don't always review, but I do it most of the time. If someone reviews me I review them back, and I review poems that I particularly enjoy as well. This poem is one of them. So I think it's better to say a review most of the time, but not always. Feel free to send me a read request on your poems and I will read them. If I really like them, like this one, I will leave a review.

Thank you for sharing!

R.J

[Lisasview]

I would appreciate a review... even if you do not like it...
I always want feedback.. good or bad
Lisa

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'll keep that in mind. Be well.

R.J

[Neville]

........... this is simply beautiful .. need I say more .. Oh' yes, did you paint the watercolour too?

[Lisasview]

Your review is so appreciated.. No I did not paint this.
Only dared putting then you saw on Push on so far..
Best to you Neville,
Lisa, in rainy ` cold Spain

[Lisasview]

Gosh typing way to fast.. meant the not then...
I need to slow down..
L

[Neville]

......... and to quote my favourite writer poet of all time .. 'and her fingers, like a weavers, quick and cool' .................... N :)

[John the Baptist]

This is a very poignant offering of love and loss. The speaker is recalling memories of one held dear, probably a relative. The imagery is very moving, making long ago scenes come alive. The cause of the decedent's passing is not specified, only that she was in pain. The accompanying illustration shows us some of the speaker's memories. Nicely done.

[Lisasview]

Hi John,
I am going through all my poems to make sure I have thanked everyone that took the time to comment and I found your review...which for some strange reason I missed thanking you for... So thank you so very much!!
Lisa, still in Spain

[Dave Brown]

This brought back memories
Dementia ruled my Mother's final days
I have her picture on a dresser and I remember how much I loved her and what a poor system this life death thing is
Beautiful image selection, wish I had painted it.

[Lisasview]

Oh gosh Dave,
I apologise for not responding sooner.. This was my very first Sonnet and my very first time submitting anything...anywhere.. I was so new at this and did not realise I could respond..Now I know..
So, thank you so much for your wonderful review..It means a lot to me.
As a professional watercolorist I too wish I had painted the wonderful painting..
I have been busy submitting poems so I have quite a few listed.. Some are from the early 70's when I was 20..
Lisa, now in Spain

[Lydia Shutter]

Lisa, the emotions in this sonnet are easily relatable. I have sweet memories of walking along the shoreline with both my parents and my cousin. We keep them in our hearts. I think they know when you bring the lilies and when you think of them! Beautifully written. Lydi**

[Lisasview]

Thank you Lydi for you kind review..This being the first poem ~ Sonnet I have ever submitted I am so appreciative of your kind review..
Lisa, now in Spain

[Ken Simm.]

A lovely touching tribute to all mothers. Not just yours. Beautifully penned.

[Lisasview]

Hey Ken,
Actually this was meant for all mothers and grandmothers..everywhere.. So glad you liked it..
You might like my poem Time...
Lisa

[Riddhi Sharma]

This poem is a masterpiece. Makes us nostalgic.

[Lisasview]

Very nice to say!! Thank you,
Lisa

[Patricia]

First of all let me say sonnets are my favorite style of poetry and when done well they are profoundly touching, that being said this is a beautiful and touching sonnet and admire your pen.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so very much for your kind comment.
Lisa, now in Spain

[Mike Keenan]

Lisa,
Okay, this one has so much promise, forgive me if I play with it a bunch! In poetry, I find that it’s always a paring down process to get to essence like an Inuit stone carver, so let go of redundant words. I crossed many out.
One more rule - any time that you think you have written something precious, be prepared to kill it.
Mike

Hand-In-Hand....

tired eyes saw more than I
silver hair piled high upon her head,
the clean fresh scent of long ago ...
stinging tears often shed.

her laughter through our years,
when we walked hand in hand along the shore.
to sounds of church bells
my love held by ocean roar.

fresh white, fragrant lilies near her lie,
soft petals fallen from the rain ...
wet, turned up toward the sky;
along with them she takes rest from her pain. This line needs work

each day, I long for her caressing touch.

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
Okay, but remember this is a Sonnet.
So I need 10 syllables per line, verses with four lines and two final lines.
I wrote this and then had help from Richard a Sonnoteer.. I killed and revile this sonnet for months before finally submitting it.. My Free verse poetry is quite different.. Gosh, it sounds like I am defending myself.. but I just want to make myself clear.

[Lisasview]

Hi Mike, Did you see my response?
Lisa

[Mike Keenan]

yes; sorry for the delay; wasn't considering the sonnet; cheers, Mike

[Lisasview]

So now you know where this poem was coming from.. right..