Cry

Cry

A Poem by Lisasview
"

Thanking Richard with his fabulous help. Rhyming Quatrains and Couplet in 10-count

"
 

      

   Cry.... 


       Crying deeply into heaven's dark night ...

       patches red, seared up from her slender waist.

       Lonely tears cascade from delicate height,

       his scent lingers-on … for, never erased.

       

       Warm, still air; she dreams of their precious time,       

       'til morning light calls softly, to awake. 

       Listening, bells to start their rhythmic chime; 

       hoping, this bright day will cease her heartache.

       

       Softly, bare feet traipse 'cross cold, hardened floors;

       at window's ledge, pulling back more sad tears,

       watching waves rush to past's deserted shores;

       their lives entwined ~~ oh, for so many years!

       

       With no tears left, scanning morn's aqua sky ...

       pulse-beats quicken at mere thoughts of a sound.

       Recalling hurt of his final goodbye;

       in changing heart, is her love back around?

       

       No, 'tis not him, only feelings she keeps.      

       Upon their bed she throws herself ~ and weeps!

© 2023 Lisasview


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Author's Note

Lisasview
Reviews are so welcome...
I always review whatever I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

My Review

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Featured Review

The hurt here is palpable and leaves the reader wondering what the cause of the sustained anguish might be; the death of a spouse perhaps? We do ascertain that the relationship was sustained for " so many years" so naturally we deduce that the depth of feeling was mutual. But we are left with the sense that the object of pain and desire might be "back around" leading us to think of a broken relationship or a ghost perhaps. This was an intriguing write. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Hi Fabian,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my little poem... To be h.. read more



Reviews

Oh this one is so gut wrenchingly beautiful! Each stanza hits hard. "pulse-beats quicken at mere thoughts of a sound." This is my favorite line. And I love the final couplet it just binds it all together. Amazing job, Lisa!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

1 Year Ago

Oh gosh thank you for reading and reviewing. I was quite young when I went through this... Pretty p.. read more
Raven A. Myn

1 Year Ago

It's funny how I'm now around the same age you were when you wrote this, and I find this poem so rel.. read more
Lisasview

1 Year Ago

Ahhh, to be young and have to advantage of a computer, etc. All my work is either in pencil or pen .. read more
I feel sad just reading this, the description of loss and the impact on the subject are palpable.

I just noticed two reviews both used the word palpable!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

1 Year Ago

Hi Michael,
As I am going back over my reviews for all my work... a big job... I noticed that.. read more
Michael

1 Year Ago

No thanks required the gift is given unconditionally.
This is truly where the painting draws in the reader in and commands that he read through to the end. Exquisite painting, lonesome words and longing....

BIG LIKE

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

1 Year Ago

This is so crazy Blunt~
How could all the thank you messages I sent to you not be showing up... read more
Hi Lisa, hope everything is fine with you. When I saw the picture of this writing, a painting if Van Gogh came to my mind about a pregnant and depressed woman. Break-ups are always sad, because most of the times the friendship is gone too. This poem impressed me emotionally.
Nicely penned.
Nima, somewhere in Persia

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Hi Nima,
I am moved that you were affected by my poem. I feel so lucky to have found the per.. read more
Nima.Hope

2 Years Ago

My pleasure dear Lisa, wish you the best.
Such an emotional, heart tugging read. You express yourself very well

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Hi there,
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem. I appreciate it very much!read more
So mournful and full of the lament of loss. It is so fluid and even in tone. You did a splendid job on this one. You need to be proud of it for sure. Getting help from Richard is always a great idea, he has helped most of us out a time or two. Great work!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Thank you Crowley for your excellent review.
Reviews are so important and I appreciate that y.. read more
Lonesome Blues are Cries in the Night…. among the Whippoorwills and the Chills of Ice on Moonlit Hills… bring memories of a Hot Tea Kettle whistling on the 💜 Hearth… Autumn 🍂 leaves and Wild Geese flying in formation … as He disappeared in flurries of Snow. I will grow fonder of the Candles lit with Prayers rendered like Bread Crumbs on a Path to be remembered. gently, Pat


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Oh my that does sound so delicious.
I am working hard on my new Sonnet..really quite a challe.. read more
Patricia Wedel

2 Years Ago

I will be looking for your Sonnet… it almost seems like you are a Composer of 🎶 Music with 🎻.. read more
Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Well, dear Pa.. I began piano for the very first time when I was 50 years old... and, I still practi.. read more
It is all so descriptive. The dreaming, the longing, the sad walk to the window, the sad recollecting. If you haven't lived it you certainly will in reading this lovely, but so sad, poem.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Wow Bryan, I am so delighted to know you were moved by my poem. I woke up one morning and felt a ver.. read more
Good imagery. I like how you set the scene in this way. You paint a striking image using minimalistic wording.

I also liked the word play of: “for, never…”

I’ve learned a new words: traipse. I like its use here.

I especially like the fourth stanza. The word choice really shines here (morn’s…pulse-beats quicken at mere thoughts of sound…recalling hurt…).

I like the format.

The image used here is also very nice and appropriate.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

This is one of those poems that just poured out of me and, only needed a little tweaking..
Th.. read more
Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Hi there,
Rereading your lovely review.. I am wondering what you meant when you said "I also .. read more
_rabbitofhabit (1word)

2 Years Ago

I thought it somewhat alluded to 'forever'. Except, though sounding a bit similar if read quickly, i.. read more
Crying is such a therapeutic thing, but sometimes when you just can’t stop crying it can feel like you’re drowning. I feel that despair here in these words and just the heartache and needing to curl in bed. The emotions and pain are so palpable, and the words add to the beauty of it. It’s such a visually striking poem, it reminds me of a storm and maybe that works because of the storm of emotions you were able to produce. It’s beautifully written and thank you so much for sharing such an inspiring piece.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Wow, what an amazing and insightful review Cat.
I woke up one morning and just rote it all ou.. read more

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554 Views
29 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on January 27, 2022
Last Updated on August 31, 2023

Author

Lisasview
Lisasview

Benitachell, Alicante, Spain



About
I have been writing poetry and short stories since I was 10..so 64 years! I have never connected with any groups but recently thought why not.. So here I ..looking at where this adventure leads me. more..

Writing
Model Model

A Poem by Lisasview



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