Calypso Strings

My Calypso poem is the first I have tried using Richards original "Fives 'n Eights" form. I really enjoyed the challenge!!

Calypso Strings

Calypso Strings played,

love's best plans now laid

all throughout twinkling starlit night. 

Waves move to the beat,

hearts feeling such heat …

arising, desire's sheer delight. 

Promises whispered,

no other sound heard …

dancing close, their bodies alive;

kissing each other,

no other lover …

keeping up with hot rhythmic jive. 

Delicious movements

mate bodies' groovements,

evening waning soon into morn. 

Eyes urgent with need, 

lust they must now feed.

Why, then, these young lovers seem torn?

Perhaps, there is more

they'll find at the shore …

answers they're both yearning to find. 

Fantasies portrayed ... 

are such dreams forbade?

Sensual thoughts dance through each mind.

Clear, brighter day starts, 

feelings gone from hearts …

against rocks, waves crash in dismay. 

Helpless lust withdrawn,

Calypso Strings gone ~

each lover departs their own way....  

--~·⟢*⟣·~--

Reviews

[Vol]

Lisa,
There are only a couple of things in life more intimate than sensual dance. It is a form of foreplay making hot, short breaths and languid, half-closed eyes, a kind of fall into another dimension just the other side of this one. You captured both the rapture of the dancers and the watcher. EXCELLENT job! If I may suggest, in stanza 4 you used the word "find" in two consecutive lines, Maybe change the first one to something like "explore?' I don't know... what do you think? Either way, reading this raised the temperature in my room by several degrees.
In the end, Lust is great fun, but it burns hot and fast leaving just the ashes to remember by.
DANG!

[Lisasview]

love your review vol...i am typing with my left finger as i broke my collar bone this past weekend.
i really appreciate that you read and reviewed my poem. and, i am thrilled that you found an error... best thing ever when a poet really reads and leaves constructive criticism. as this poem has a certain amount of syllables per line and needs rhymes..i will need to put my thinking cap on.
i completely agree about a sensual dance being intimate..i am so happy that you really understood my poem.
ps sorry my response is all in lowercase not possible to type properly with my left finger..
lisa

[Vol]

Ohhh! I'm So sorry for your accident... I am in a similar shape, having suffered major trauma to my left thumb... You never know how hard life can be until it is...

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
I am off my recliner and off pain killers (hate them) not that I am not in pain... Typing with only my left finger is a PAIN..
Gosh major drama to you left thumb..yikes.
Anyway, my plan is to work on my Haiku, first time I have ever tried this.
I want to thank yo again for catching the error in my poem..really means a lot to me when a poet really reads an makes good critics..this seldom happens.
If you have time I would love your thoughts on some of my poems..Perhaps you might like Awaken... or my very first, ever Sonnet, and the first poem I posted last year. Hand~In~Hand
Lisa

[Vol]

Hi, Lisa!
I used to say with a degree of pride "Ain't nothin wrong with me I didn't break." Not true anymore. I am still recovering from a couple of 2022 surgeries, and awaiting Dr's release to do the things that need to be done. So, I've spent a lot of time alone writing and thinking and writing, and... Life is more than the living, it needs to be examined and recorded...
The strange part is, I am a gregarious sort, I don't meet a stranger, and I can hold court with the entire room, but this solitude out here in the Llano Estacaco, has been invaluable. My little ghost town of Gouge Eye (Alanreed), Texas requires I drive thirty-five miles to spend money. And pity the poor person who wants to strike up a conversation... I wear them out!
So... Hello, there...
I am truly interested in learning more about my fellow '49er (maybe) expat new friend ... we kind of grew up together, children of the "greatest generation," but part of the second most interesting one in modern times!
Vol

[Pete]

wow. quite an alluring, seductive dance you step for us here only to have it dashed with a misstep. two realms in play - the physical and spiritual. what happened to those feelings, why could they not be fanned like hot flames, where did they go ... :)

[Lisasview]

Ahhh, here Pete is what you wrote back to me in my review...ours is not to question why...
These two were not meant to be... It was probably just physical attraction and that doesn't last very long.
It is fun to think of all the whys..I agree..
Who..what...where..
I really enjoyed writing this..
Thank you so much for your review,
Lisa, finishing a nice cappuccino early this morning in Spain

[willweb]

That was a steamy scene you created, the passion boils over as they make love to the dance floor. I could feel the percussion of the music playing in the background as I read this. It has a sensual beat that brings on the heat. Beautifully written.

[Lisasview]

Wow Will, I see you are really reading my work and that is wonderful... I really loved writing this...I enjoyed the beat... I too could feel the music as I wrote..As you probably can already tell my poems are quite varied..
Lisa, need to get to my piano practice now....

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I love Calypso music. The vocal harmonies of the French creole are alive and well in the French Quarter in New Orleans. I haven't visited the area since before Hurricane Katrina but I'm told it has changed significantly, which saddens me. The music of Trinidad and Tobago islands is now replete with steel drums. The syncopated rhythm of the music makes it ideal to dance Salsa and Mambo to, I'll leave the "limbo" to those more young and flexible than myself. (laughing) I have a CD of Calypso that I play quite often. It's like a trip to the islands for the ears. And there's a few cuts on there from Harry Bellefonte. One of my favorites from him is, Turn the World Around. I love how you incorporate the music into a sort of romance, because of course, the music itself is romance at its heart. Lovely. I'll share this link with you since you inspired me to go find it on YouTube. I'm listening to it now! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaELWpEhrMY

[Lisasview]

I grew up listening to the two records my mother had...
Harry Belafonte and Johnny Mathis...
I saw both at the Greek theatre in Hollywood, California when i was in my 20's ~ 30's..way back when...
I know all their songs by heart!!
So glad you understood so clearly the romance of music and why I wrote this little poem.
So sad to hear about New Orleans.. been there a couple of times, but that was quite awhile ago.
Music is so so important in our lives..
Thank you for reading and reviewing...
and, for the youtube...glad I inspired you..this means a lot to me.
Lisa, now in Spain

[Fabian G. Franklin]

That's a great YouTube version. Harry was so young there. It's thrilling you got to see him in person! I've always loved his music.

[Lisasview]

I actually have the same records that my mother played

[Writergurl]

Clear, brighter day starts,
feelings gone from hearts …

love the beginning of this stanza, this is a lovely write

[Lisasview]

Wow,
I am sending thank you's to my reviewers and I see another one from you.
Thank you so much.
Lisa

[Brad Dehler]

Yes, cha cha cha! Feeling the movement and emotion in this one. Well, i guess i did as well at the "Go-Go". As you said "ah the 70's" lol. Such sweet sorrow. Good times. Great times.

[Lisasview]

Oh good I am delighted that you like this one.. It is pretty new... I enjoyed writing it... the structure was 5,5,8 not easy..
Lisa, nearly 8pm in Spain

[Perry]

Hi Lisa,
Wow, this is nicely done, and a challenging form for sure! Damn, 5, 5, 8, all the way through. Color me impressed.

Perry

[Lisasview]

Hi Perry,
I believe this was my third poem writing in that wonderful and rather challenging form. I loved doing it...
Color me impressed is such a wonderful thing to say... as I am a water color artist... and so most of my poems reflect in some way color...
Lisa, finally on the computer

[Perry]

Hi Lisa,
You're a lady of many talents. I shouldn't be surprised. When it rains it pours.
read moreHi Lisa,
You're a lady of many talents. I shouldn't be surprised. When it rains it pours.
Perry

[Lisasview]

What a very sweet thing to say Perry... I thank you...
Lisa, now in Spain

[Emunah June.]

What a feverish display of affection! A delicious display of wordsmith, and not to mention the vivid imagery was just divine! Well done, Lisa!

[Lisasview]

Hi there Emunah,
Never heard that interesting name before...
Thank you for your wonderful review.
Reviews like yours inspire me to write more...
Lisa, finishing responding and hoping to work on one of my poems

[Stuart Munro]

Hi Lisa , I love your artwork and red italic writing , passion from hormones shook up by calypso dancing
Then the music stops , it’s off to get the taxi home and work in the morning , but you want to calypso forever ,

[Lisasview]

Hi Stuart,
You accidentally used Chrises name when reviewing my Calypso poem....
I am of course so delighted to know you really liked my poem.
Thank you for reviewing,
Lisa, responding to reviews

[Stuart Munro]

Well Spotted ,Lisa ,must cut down on the LSD ,lol
Now ch@nged it , have a great week

[Lisasview]

Oh good... yes LSD will do that to you..ha ha..

[Stuart Munro]

I was going to jump off a roof but your poem saved my life lol

[Lisasview]

You really make me smile and laugh..which is wonderful.

[Stuart Munro]

That’s great if I’m doing that lol

[Lisasview]

Yes, isn't it.....