Black Was The Crow

We sat naked between us

Shredding silence

For our fingers were nervous enemies

And knew not where the time would go

Emptiness easier

We talked horizon's close

Dragging them eagerly

And ashamed

We shaped nothing, said nothing

And space was hard on words

We did not watch them stumble, trip

But turned our eyes to where we weren't

Our skin; so abandoned

Thus throbbed in our minds

There it touched and tumbled gently

Forcing unpermitted choked-back smiles

I wondered how your lips felt

Neither that night

Were braver than butterflies

And my face burned like the stars

As dark clothed us

And carried you off

Too soon 

Reviews

[linear]

tantalizing, the flickering shadows of repressed emotions, touching you so gently, as a velvet butterfly wing kissing soft lips.....
Aromatic in essence the pen drips of love in it's naked shades....if that makes any sense?

[Ed Hart]

boundlessly sad, and acute, as is your want

[@]

I found this quite interesting.
It's not an obvious kind of story: it's a poem in minor key, and that lends a rich layer which is not lost on this reader. It's a piece that permeates. Good poem.

[asdarkeyesclose]

'Were braver than butterflies
And my face burned like the stars'

pretty. the way the words climb, unexpected and very moving. i loved the lightness of this and the way the emotions came across and the title was something great to go back to. you are amazing!

[I, Rene]

I love how this feels like a familiar dream, loved the lines best "
Our skin; so abandoned
Thus throbbed in our minds
There it touched and tumbled gently
Forcing unpermitted choked-back smiles

I wondered how your lips felt

Neither that night
Were braver than butterflies
And my face burned like the stars
As dark clothed us
And carried you off
Too soon "

That was just the best part of the poem for me, wonderful

[M.E.Lyle]

Absolutely beautiful. The words flow like sweet syrup. I love the line, " For our fingers were like nervous enemies." Great write.